The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
12/02/11
What an awesome picture of the frustration of navigating the foreign mess of the computer, which becomes the no-brainer of tomorrow. What an awesome picture of nagigating the mess of an integrated household, which becomes the family of tomorrow. I especially loved the sheer panic of the father and the calmness of the daughter. Well done!
12/02/11
Lovely, uploading and downloading kids programmed in his heart. Cheers
This is a sweet story. It touched my heart with the patience the daughter showed.

I noticed a few minor things. In the beginning, I thought two different people were calling Ericka (because each one had an end quote indicating the speaker is done) You could fix it by putting them on the same line or by using ellipses.

When you were describing the photos, at first, I thought they were incomplete sentences describing action in the room. I think if you had put the phrases in italics, I would have realized instantly that they were the photos.

I think you did a wonderful job of making the story about the topic. I really liked your characters. The beginning made me wonder what was happening that Ericka was so desperately needed. It made me want to keep reading.

The ending was lovely too. I was surprised to learn Ericka was adopted. I always enjoy stories that surprise me.
12/04/11
I like this story. It fits the topic and is original and has a satisfying ending. It's one aspect of uploading and downloading that I wouldn't have thought of! Lol! Well done.
12/07/11
How cute! I had to smile at the Dad needing the daughter to figure the computer out for him. I'm often summoned for help when my mom or dad gets stuck. :) Enjoyable entry.
12/07/11
This was an adorable entry, and one that is appreciated most especially by parents. Thank you. Blessings~
12/12/11
This is a favourite one of mine this week! I'm not old, really, but boy I feel just like the dad sometimes! But the ending had me tearing up; to think of what might have been had she not been adopted, and the image of them all sitting together "up- or down-loaded" into his heart, that was just beautiful. A really great take on the topic. Well done.
12/14/11
A very nicely written story that touches the heart. Well done!
12/15/11
Congratulations on being highly commended Jack. Very worthy.
12/16/11
Congrats on your placing. This was such a cute story. God bless~