The Official Writing Challenge
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Great writing! I could feel every thought and frustration. It's hard to come down off that mountain where you're communicating with the Lord.
Somewhat following FW critique: The beginning was strong enough to draw me in and keep me reading. I like your use of scripture as analogies and metaphors although I did feel after awhile there were too many; I’d like to see some of these developed more fully rather than quantity. I think this was well crafted, quite creative in rhythm and language, and your ending was strong. I like the interplay between H & W. This is an interesting twist on the subject…not sure it is spot on, but nevertheless I enjoyed reading this piece. Excellent message for us all.
12/02/11
This was wonderful! Oh can I ever relate to your MC, needing to upload information that was downloaded into my brain before I forget it! I really enjoyed this, it was so cute and creative! Great job!
I enjoyed this take on the topic. You incorporated so many Bible stories into your piece. I thought the beginning of the banter between the two felt quite realistic (the apologies seemed a tad forced) I could empathize with both the man and woman. I also enjoyed how you managed to capture what writing a story is like.
12/11/11
A simply brilliant job and take on the topic at hand. I simply loved it. A lot of biblical references and clearly a lot of thought went into this dynamic piece. Thanks! God Bless~
12/16/11
Congrats on your HR placing.
God Bless~
01/05/12
Very nice piece...I did feel there were a few too many analogies, but the point of your story was delivered spot on. It is hard to deal with every day life sometimes, once we have had a communion with God. The devil ALWAYS seems to be there waiting to mess things up. Good job!