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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Spam (not the meat) (11/03/11)

TITLE: Jam (not the jelly)
By Melissa Martin
11/11/11


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“I’m the scam and sham Spam (not the meat) man! I’m irreplaceable!” Spam screeched, but he knew the end was near.

A techno geek did it to him. A new computer anti-spam program called Jam (not the jelly) was terminating his junk email career. His Internet life would never be the same. No more menacing of inboxes. No more slimy unsolicited bulk messages. No more trying to climb out of junk folders into the main stream of electronic mail. No more get-rich-quick schemes sneaking into unsuspecting boxes. No more fake, fraudulent, and falsified products. No more shams and scams. No more greedy advertisement checks in his mailbox. Bam! It was over.

“How can this be happening to me?” Spam wailed. “I was only trying to make a living! Popup spam, blog spam, junk newsgroup postings. I ate up lots of network bandwidth. I was the best!”

Where other Spam filters failed Jam was succeeding. Jam was jamming Spam’s unwelcome and unwanted messages of meanness. Where Spam abounded, Jam much more abounded.

However, a more sinister techno geek was working ate in a Web laboratory. “What will I call my new spammer invention?” He asked his creepy cronies. “What about Spam Serpent, Spam Beast, or Spam King?” They chortled in unison.


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This article has been read 286 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Camille (C D) Swanson 11/17/11
Short and to the point. Nice job of staying on topic and bringing home the message.

God Bless~
Glynis Becker 11/17/11
I bet that was a fun little entry to write! Nice job.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/19/11
This is great. What's the old adage about building a better mousetrap? You covered this idea in a succinct and clever way.
Helen Curtis11/19/11
What a creative entry - I especially like the "(not the jam)" reference! Very clever, and a good reminder to always stay on guard; even when we think a situation is 'fixed' the enemy will try and find new, trickier ways to un-fix them. Well done.
Theresa Santy 11/22/11
Lovely personification of Spam!

I believe 'ate' should be 'late) in the last paragraph, yes?

Otherwise beautifully crafted.
annie keys11/25/11
Oh, my goodness, I laughed till I hurt! Love this! My only critique is that it ended so ---abruptly. But, then, maybe it was the word limit thing? Whatever---I could have kept right on reading. You made me laugh, thanks for that! *)
Linda Goergen11/26/11
Well written, short to the point truth! No matter how hard the good people work, it seems the criminals are out there working harder, trying to stay one step ahead of anything put out to stop them. Guess it will be so until the Lord’s return. Great job.
Deborah Rampona Oliver 11/26/11
I loved all of the word play and the title was perfect for your piece. I was entertained throughout.
Terry R A Eissfeldt 11/28/11
I always enjoy "tongue in cheek pieces" Too many people are so serious. Thanks for a chortle.