Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Spam (not the meat) (11/03/11)
TITLE: Spamella's Place
By Tim Pickl
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“Oh, good mornin’ Sarah—I’m glad you came. I need you to taste test my new breakfast invention.”
Sarah stepped toward Pamella who was standing by an old cast-iron gas stove. “It sure smells good. What is it?”
“I’m callin’ it Pamella’s Special Ham.”
“Let me taste it.”
“Here—try a bite.” Pamella cut off a sliver, and set it on a paper towel for Sarah.
“Mmmm… that IS good.”
“Do you like it, really?”
“Yes, I want more. This will go great with biscuits, grits and eggs.”
“That’s a great idea!”
“Anyway, I stopped by to tell you what your grandson did.”
“Oh , oh…. What’s he into now?”
“Oh, no, it’s nothin’ like that. He wanted to help your new business and sent out a spam message on the internet.”
“What in the world is a spam message, as you call it?”
“It’s basically an advertisement, sent as a mass e-mail.”
“Like out to the world? Wow…”
“Yes. I wanted to warn you…”
“Thanks for the warning… I wonder who’s at the door.”
“That’s what I wanted to tell you…”
“Hold on… my goodness gracious, there’s a bunch of cars out here.”
Several trucks and a few automobiles started filling the small parking lot adjacent to Pamella’s Place.
“Hi, are you Pamella?”
“Yes, welcome to my Place.”
“We’re here to pick up the coupon half price deal.”
“What?!? SARAH! What’s goin’ on here?”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you. Here are the coupons your grandson created…”
“Whoa… wait a sec… what does this spam message say, exactly?”
“Here—I printed a copy.”
Subject: Urgent! Half Price on a Getaway Weekend at Pamella’s Place Bed and Breakfast
The Details: Half Price on a Getaway Weekend. You don’t need to spend a fortune to see and stay amongst the majestic, glorious Autumn colors. For $200, enjoy $400 worth of food, drink and lodging at Pamella’s Place Bed and Breakfast located in the picture-perfect forest of Upper Michigan.
This incomparable Bed and Breakfast is a fully restored 1846 Greek Revival style stagecoach inn built for the copper mining industry, offering comfortable, romantic B&B lodging. From the spacious front parlor to the bedrooms, Pamella’s Place is replete with period antiques—it will be like you are stepping back in time. In addition, for your relaxing pleasure, each room features double whirlpool tubs and fireplaces.
Pamella’s Place features home-style cooked meals: A full, candlelight breakfast is served in the dining room and will add to your romantic journey into the past.
To get the half-price deal, you must pick up the coupons in person. Pamella wants to meet you today. Hurry! This deal expires at 11:59 p.m. Wednesday night.
“This is… a surprise... But a good surprise. Your son is a spam genius.”
“Seth is a wonderful boy, but he’s a boy…he still gives us grief.”
“Give that man a coupon.”
“I just gave everyone a copy. But we’re running out. Do you have a copy machine?”
“Yes, it’s in the office, just off the kitchen, next to the parlor.”
“Excellent, I’ll make more copies before the next wave of customers shows up.”
“I just want you to know, I love you.”
“I love you, too. I’ll come right back.”
Out for his morning jog, Seth runs up the long driveway.
“Didja hear what happened?”
“Oh my goodness gracious, no, what’s wrong?”
“No, no it’s nothin’ like that, Gramma. I sent out a message to help your new business.”
“Oh, I heard, your mom is here now. She told me all about it.”
“You’re not mad at me or anything, are you?”
“No, I am not mad at you. In fact, I am glad you did it. I advertised a little in the local newspaper and on the radio and television, but I had no idea how powerful this internet thing was.”
“I see you have people coming already!”
“Yes, we do. Your mom had to go and make more copies of the coupons.”
“Wow—thank God for that.”
“I am thanking God—you are such a blessing in my life, my spam genius.”
“Awwww, Gramma, YOU’RE the best. You helped raise me and took me to Sunday School and taught me how to live as a Christian. I would do anything I could to help you.”
“You’re mom’s comin’ back now…”
Sarah waved a stack of coupons, and announced, “Welcome to Spamella’s Place.”
They all laughed together.
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