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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Blog (10/20/11)

TITLE: Satan's High-Tech Techniques!
By Danielle King


She was sitting in the rail station. The metal seat was cold and hard - vandal proof like the loos.

Way down the track she saw the tunnel entrance. Some unfortunate youngster had lost his life there a couple of weeks ago; chasing after his dog. She recalled with familiar dispassion how the local newspaper had pictured the distraught young mother laying flowers.

The town hall clock struck mid-day. He was late! She’d made the effort to be here so where was he? The woman over the line was staring hard. She held her gaze until the woman looked away.

A message alert distracted her.

“Here Sue,” it read. So where are you?” She checked around before replying,

“By coffee machine. Don’t see you though.” Exasperation gripped her by the throat at the prospect of another time wasting wind up.

The woman across the track was making for the footbridge. Sue watched her cross the line and pause at the exit. She was acting weird. As the woman turned hesitantly to walk towards her Sue pondered the coarse features.

She wore an outrageously bold floral print dress and red high heeled shoes. Big hair fell loosely onto broad shoulders. She began to stride out. Extending a hand no smaller than a snow shovel she greeted her Counsellor.

“Dr Sue. At last we meet up. I’m David.”

The 12.30pm Flying Scotsman thundered down the line and slowed to a harsh clanking halt. Sue grabbed her bag and sprang to her feet.

“Doctor?” She feigned incredulity. “I wish! Sorry - I need to board this train!”

The countryside streaked by as the train sped South towards London adding distance between Sue’s Psychology Practice in the North, nearby the station she’d fled.

Exhilaration flooded her senses. The prospect of liberation tasted sweet.

‘Dr S. WILLIAMS CPsychol CSci AFBPsS.’ The plaque on the office door was impressive; but

‘Christian Counselling for Hurting Individuals’ on the website less so. Yet this Blog had attracted numerous hits since its initiation.

Sue needed to chill! She struggled to implement her own relaxation techniques; to become aware of her erratic, constricted breathing and screaming muscles. Through gritted teeth she determined to visualise the tension, and at her spoken command, order it to float from knotted muscles to be replaced by calm and relaxation.

But these taut, inflexible muscles miss-trusted the source of the pressured commands and rebuffed any suggestion of ‘letting go!’

Bitterness and hostility spilled over. She railed,

“Lord, I’ve put my heart and soul into this Blog for you yet it’s nothing but hassle. It’s become a burden to me and a magnet to attract odd bods. This blog was meant to HELP people. Why do you send me life’s rejects and misfits?”

For a moment all Heaven fell silent!

Until through the scriptures God’s imperceptible whispers infiltrated the heart of His weary traveller.

“Sue – MY children are NOT misfits! I reject NO-ONE who calls out to me!”

A doctor sees so much of the bleak side of humanity. She thought back to the compassion she once had for confused and misguided souls. Again she discerned His voice.

“I send you hurting people and YOU run away!” Failure and desperation overwhelmed her. “When did we last spend TIME TOGETHER?”

Time? – There was no time! In days past Sue cherished her quiet times with the God of all Life. From such intimate moments stemmed her zeal and commitment to spread His message of love, hope and healing to dejected and disconsolate victims of society.

But now with so much to achieve for the Lord, inactivity was construed as time wasting.

The Blog – the very Blog that she created in order to reach out to people had turned into a trap to ensnare her; to have her believe she was indispensible; that she could go it alone; and judging by its success was also blessed by God.

So very NOT so!

Again Sue perceived God’s word in her heart. His invitation was –

“LET GO; Surrender yourself to me and KNOW that I am in control.” And,

“Your personal initiative is no substitute for RELIANCE ON ME!” He reminded her.

At the next train station Sue alighted, crossed the line and boarded again - heading North! David was waiting still.

“David, before I explain myself, I have a priority task!” She smiled. Together they revamped the Blog Site. It’s now called,

‘To Those Who Are Hurting,’


(Psalm 46 v 10 NIV)

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This article has been read 447 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/03/11
I enjoyed this. I laughed out hard at the beginning. I also appreciatethe use of "she railed" as a verb in a story where the setting is a train station.

I did get bogged down with some of your sentence. Some of them didn't feel like they were needed. You also had some punctuation errors like a missing quote and a semi- colon should be used to separate two complete sentences. If one part can't be made into a complete sentence, then use a comma instead.

I also noticed some words that were different but that could be British spellings. For example this phrase: wasting wind up
befuddled me but it might make perfect sense to you. :)

I really liked your message. How true that is for many people. I think it's wonderful to be reminded that doing things in God's name isn't the same thing as spending time with Him.
Noel Mitaxa 11/04/11
I had to read this a couple of times to work out who David was, although the title was also a little misleading.
Great feeling is tucked away in here, and clever word-pictures stroll through this piece; though hyphen idea that slight punctuation errors and omissions lend a touch of confusion. "time-wasting wind-up" is (I think) what Shann is looking for...
C D Swanson 11/09/11
This was a little difficult to understand at first, but upon second reading- clarity came and knocked me over. I liked it very much. Clever and a different way of bringing the topic to life!
God Bless~
Edmond Ng 11/16/11
A very good story illustrating the difficulty one can run into offering counseling service online and offline, especially to those hurting. It's a calling and ministry requiring commitment and a compassionate heart, with the need to constantly draw strength from God. You’ve brought out the feelings and inner emotions of the MC very well. Thanks for sharing this. God bless.
Leola Ogle 11/17/11
Good job! Loved it! God bless!