The Official Writing Challenge
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I enjoyed this. I laughed out hard at the beginning. I also appreciatethe use of "she railed" as a verb in a story where the setting is a train station.

I did get bogged down with some of your sentence. Some of them didn't feel like they were needed. You also had some punctuation errors like a missing quote and a semi- colon should be used to separate two complete sentences. If one part can't be made into a complete sentence, then use a comma instead.

I also noticed some words that were different but that could be British spellings. For example this phrase: wasting wind up
befuddled me but it might make perfect sense to you. :)

I really liked your message. How true that is for many people. I think it's wonderful to be reminded that doing things in God's name isn't the same thing as spending time with Him.
11/04/11
I had to read this a couple of times to work out who David was, although the title was also a little misleading.
Great feeling is tucked away in here, and clever word-pictures stroll through this piece; though hyphen idea that slight punctuation errors and omissions lend a touch of confusion. "time-wasting wind-up" is (I think) what Shann is looking for...
11/09/11
This was a little difficult to understand at first, but upon second reading- clarity came and knocked me over. I liked it very much. Clever and a different way of bringing the topic to life!
God Bless~
11/16/11
A very good story illustrating the difficulty one can run into offering counseling service online and offline, especially to those hurting. It's a calling and ministry requiring commitment and a compassionate heart, with the need to constantly draw strength from God. You’ve brought out the feelings and inner emotions of the MC very well. Thanks for sharing this. God bless.
11/17/11
Good job! Loved it! God bless!