The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/04/11
Oh, I really like this.

The only thing I was a bit confused about was whether the MC heard the conversation outside the hall. My impression was that she did, but hid it well. I was kind of wanting confirmation, though.

This is really good, and a great example of how blogs can connect people. I think I may know who wrote this too. :)
This was outstanding. As both a nurse and a frequent patient I could really relate to the MC. With all the cuts in budgets it does seem that nurses are too busy. It's one of my biggest pet peeves.

The only thing I might have questioned was the viability of a candy striper actually being allowed to talk and interact with a critically ill patient. But I realize all institutions are different and it could be feasible in some institutions.

The message was great. We all need to we reminded from time to time that one person can make a difference.
11/07/11
Great story.

I, too, was a bit confused if the MC was overhearing the conversation in the hallway. Since she initially had the POV, I wasn't sure if that switched or what.

I was drawn into the characters and so happy for the MC that she made a friend. :)
11/09/11
This spoke to my heart. I loved this...One person can really make a difference in one person's life.

I loved it! Great job.
God Bless you~
11/11/11
Wow! Or should that be "Woe?" The way you set the scene with the food trolley sent all my hunger juices hurrying home to mama!
but then you lifted us through your MC's spiritual hunger and zeroed in on God's grace at work. Great close!
11/14/11
There's a real lesson in this story.
It would help the reader if you stayed in the POV of one character. The scene in the hallway explains things a little too much. This would be stronger if you told in only from Darla's point of view.
I like your use of italics to show the blog entry as internal thoughts, for that's what they are.
POV was a little confusing.
The internet blog sites surely have connected people and have helped them to not be alone.

Good story!
11/17/11
Congratulations on your well deserved HR placing! This spoke to my heart so much. I loved it.

God Bless~
11/18/11
I thought I had commented on this one earlier this week, but apparently not. Cool idea, and congratulations on your EC!