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Blog? Blogging? How do I write about this? I don’t really blog, unless posting on facebook is considered blogging.
Isn’t blogging like journaling and keeping a diary? I’ve done plenty of that in my life. In fact, maybe I’ll read a few of my journals. Perhaps I’ll be inspired with something to write about.
{January 2, 1980: This journal’s a gift from my friend, Sande. I’m anxious to get started writing about my life. My mostly mundane life.}
Sande! Such a dear friend . It wasn’t too long after this that our lives took completely different paths. I and my kids stayed in church. She didn’t.
{April 12,1980: I don’t understand why we go through some things in life! I just don’t understand!}
Well, that really hasn’t changed much for me in the past thirty years. There’s plenty I still don’t understand. I’ve just learned to relax in God’s love, knowing He’s always in control.
{May 21, 1980: Kids! I wish I had never been a mother! All my kids do is fuss and fight! I can’t take this anymore. I can’t cope. I can’t! I can’t! I wish I could run away! Have peace and quiet with no yelling and screaming. I have tension headaches with pressure radiating throughout my entire skull!}
What? Oh, no, I did NOT write that! Next to Jesus, my family is my world! What was going on anyway? How old was I? 1980…I was thirty-two. Five kids and three were teenagers! That explains a lot. Still, I can’t believe I wrote that. Good thing there wasn’t blogging then. Imagine putting that out there in cyberspace for the world to read. Reminds me of some people’s posts on facebook! I think I’ll just move forward to another month.
{July 24, 1980: Today I turned 32. I feel so old and decrepit. Ancient!}
Oh my! I can’t stop laughing. So old? Decrepit? Ancient? Now I’m sixty-three and I don’t even say that. Funny, silly thirty-two-year old me! I didn’t have a clue.
{August 16, 1980: God, please help me reach my daughter. She’s only fifteen and thinks she knows everything. So hateful and mouthy! Threatens to run away! Sometimes I’m so tired of not getting any rest, afraid she’ll run away in the night. Tonight I have to sleep. I don’t care if she runs away! But of course I care, God, so I won’t sleep much!}
Do I want to read any further? I know what’s coming.
{August 30, 1980: Oh God! Oh God! Why??? This can’t be happening! Please God! Please! I’ve tried my best to faithfully serve you. Why? Pregnant? She’s only fifteen!! Oh God! Help us!}
It’s hard to remember now how I thought it was the end of the world! I look at my grandson, Ethan, his beautiful wife, and three children. What a blessing! We can’t imagine not having them as part of our family! But….1980 was a hard year! Maybe I’ll read another year, one not so depressing.
{January 1, 1983: God, make me a blessings in 1983.}
Off to a good start. I’ll read further.
{January 4, 1983: On the road to California with Dixie to share Jesus with her sister-in-law who’s in the hospital dying of cancer. Help us reach her, Lord.}
I remember that trip. Mary accepted Jesus before we left.
{January 13, 1983: Our women’s group held our annual officers’ election. I got voted in as president again. Thank you, God, for allowing me to serve You.}
I served in that position for many years. I’ve always loved ministering to women.
Ugh! Just read all of February. Not so good. All about someone who caused dissension and division in the church. I wish I could say things like that don’t happen anymore, but…church people are still flawed and imperfect. Maybe March is better.
{March 15, 1983: I’m so tired! Tired of my kids fighting, of babysitting, of never having enough money, of never getting enough rest. Tired!}
Duh! That could’ve been written by any young, frazzled mother. Did my kids really fight that much? Funny, I don’t seem to remember that. I tend to only recall the fun and joy of being a mommy. And honestly, I’d do it all again.
Do I want to read anymore from this stack of journals? I’m not finding much inspiration for the topic of Blog. Instead, I’m inspired to start blogging about God’s faithfulness through the years. Ironic how time and experience change our perspective on life!
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