The Official Writing Challenge
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This was really good. I did figure that Mary Jane was one of the commentators but I was eager to keep reading to see if I was right. The start was wonderful and drew me in immediately. I also thought it was a creative take on the topic.

There were a few minor hiccoughs with punctuation. There were some missing " and a word at the start of one quotation wasn't capitalized. Also make sure you start a new paragraph every time there is a new speaker. A critic group or writing buddy would help catch these minor errors.

I think the ending was a tad forced. I stumbled over some of the sentences at the end.

The message was clear and a great one. As Christians, we never know when we will have the chance to witness. I think you did a wonderful job with this inspirational story.
11/03/11
I love the way you've painted your characters here. I related to both of them, and sensed that I knew what they were feeling. I liked how the relationship between these two characters was interesting from the beginning, and then transformed into something even more beautiful.
Good beginning…hooked me enough to keep reading. Good flow; conversation varies from excellent to a little unrealistic.

I think you could come up with a stronger ending but the concept is very creative. Main thing I would change is the title…it gave away the ending too early. I like the characters and story line very much.
11/07/11
Very enjoyable read, with good pacing and easy-flowing dialogue. I also like how you wrapped it up.
11/07/11
An enjoyable read. You have a strong take on the prompt. The story has a good flow with credible characters.

You tell us in the opening sentence that Mary Jane's life is about to change. This works to draw the reader into the story. The thing is though, I don't see a dramatic change in her life. She is surprised he is the one writing the blog, but in the end she simply agrees with his latest post.

I personally prefer to begin with a strong showing sentence, instead of a telling one. I think the story would work just as well without the opening sentence.

I like the inner conflict you show in Mary Jane over the boy. Conflict drives a story and keeps the reader hooked. Seven hundred and fifty words makes it difficult to build strong conflict, bring it to a satisfying conclusion, and stay connected to the prompt.

Overall, a great story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
11/08/11
I really enjoyed this entry. I was actually in suspense until the blogger's intentions were revealed. I wasn't sure if he was a good guy or not. That's a good thing, as it kept me guessing and reading to see what would hapen. Good job!
11/09/11
Nice job of keeping me guessing all the way to the end! I liked this - it was very well written. God Bless~
11/09/11
One of my favorites so far! Great job, very interesting and great job with the topic! God bless!
11/14/11
Blogging for the Lord is one good way of leading others to find answers in Christ. We may never know how far our Christian blogs can reach the hearts of people out there, but we can be sure our effort will never go to waste. Your story has conveyed this truth very well. May we all not hesitate to blog for Christ and use whatever available tools online to reach the world. Good job on a well written piece and an excellent story plot!
Congratulations! This was a great sci-fi story and you deserve the win. :)
11/17/11
Congratulations Margeret! Woo hoo!
Congratulations on placing with your story. I really enjoyed it--even liked the anticipation that Mary Jane would be one who had responded.
11/17/11
Congratulations Margaret!!!
11/17/11
Mega Congrats, Margaret!
11/17/11
congrats on your win! nice job. God Bless~
11/18/11
Good idea for this prompt, and great interactions between your characters. Congratulations on your EC!