The Official Writing Challenge
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Fantastic! A real Up-to-Date true story that broke my heart when I read about it. But your unique way of telling the story made my tears come down like a giant Niagara Falls! Very well done! Kept me on the edge of my Comp Chair until the very end when I turned into a human "Niagara Falls!" I repeat...FANTASTIC! Excellent job! Brilliantly done! Yes, a very "Sad Search." Loved it!
This was well-written and obviously inspired by the recent events in Ohio. You gave me chills with your descriptions.Following is my scores I would give based on the Ratings Worksheet.
Topic: 1.9- although you talked about a search the topic was specifically about search engines on computers and there was no tie to that.

Creativity: 3.0 I liked how the deputy wrestle with killing the animals and explaining his actions to his kids. Since this story made national headlines, it was talked about everywhere.

Crafted: 3.6 This is well-written and I didn't see many mistakes. It was a bit predictable as I knew where you were going in the first paragraph.

Beginning: 4.2 You drew me right in and made me want to keep reading.

Conclusion: 4.0 I liked how you left me with the picture of explaining the atrocity to his kids.

Communication 4.5 You clearly expressed your points.

Flow 4.5 It flowed very smoothly. I felt no hiccoughs or spots I needed to reread.

Publishable: 4.5 I could easily see myself drawn to this in a magazine. If the author truly is a deputy involved in that incident, I think that would increase it's likelihood of being published.

Overall, other than missing the topic, I think you did an outstanding job.
I have to admit, I'm having trouble tying in the topic when the writer has used it as a metaphore. They were so adamant on the boards that they were really looking for a computer search engine.

However, I believed this one. A hunter is indeed a type of search engine, especially the one described here.

Your writing flowed beautifully; you have such a knack for putting the right blend of words together. I could not predict the end, since at first I thought you were describing a soldier of war. Talk about search engine, turning your emotions off completely to seek out your target!

I hoped the hunter would change his mind and not shoot his target. But how could he? (I read a story once where a soldier of war did let his target go, only to be shot dead by that very target minutes later.)

Nice application of this very sad and true tale.
Well-written, full of suspense, and emotion. Even though the topic "search engine" is not the central focus and the end is predictable, the story flowed well and made me want to read from start to finish. Well done!
Yes, it must have truly been hard for the ones out there only following orders to kill those animals and your story helped me see that. Though it is still hard for me to have adequate sympathy, even though your writing gave a touching, convincing and emotional argument on behalf of those ordered to kill.

Your story was very well written, but I have a hard time seeing the topic in this unless you were portraying the men hunting down those poor animals as “search engines” .

I admit, it was hard for me to even comment on this story because it is so obviously based on the recent real life event and I am still upset over the situation! Surly could have been other ways! They could have tried to lure them back to their cages for one and I still cannot understand why animal specialists were not called in and the animals tranquilized and sent to zoos instead of slaughtered!

So sad that one man and his wrong decisions caused all that!
Nicely crafted, vividly describing the scenes to create the ambiance and mood through the use of rain to have your readers picture in their minds the surroundings as well as the flow of the victims' blood. A very well written piece.
Such a well written, compelling story even if it wasn't spot on the computer search engine topic. Good job! God bless!