The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/20/11
1984, twenty seven years later. A very descriptive and credible entry, and with the reality of codified laws constantly encroaching on common law, entirely possible.
10/21/11
This was nothing short of brilliant! Fabulous job, beautifull written and beyond clever. I loved it! God Bless~
I really liked this. I thought it was quite clever and I say with a shiver quite plausible. It reminded me a bit of a new show called Person of Interest. You did a nice job with this.
10/21/11
Captivating and chilling! You did a great job with the topic and an excellent job writing it. God bless!
Practicing critiquing here ļ
Topic: very good rendering and true to the intent of the topic. Creativity: fresh use of the topic of search engine to address persecution of Christians, although the story itself of our country going in this direction has been done quite a bit. Crafting: the dialog and action are realistically rendered and you do a very good job of capturing emotions. The beginning definitely hooked me, and I believe is your strongest category. I would like to see you re-work the ending a bit to make it really pop ¡V it just sort of ended. The message is clearly conveyed and the flow keeps up the reader¡¦s interest. Overall I think this is a strong entry.
A believable story and perhaps a preview of what is to come. A strong, emotionally stirring, and well-written entry.
10/22/11
Frighteningly plausible story line, extremely and powerfully well written. Not only did you touch on the topic, you brought out the truth that most people try to hide from and that is how easily tracked we are, by our computers and how easily our values are assessed by the searches and posts we make. I hope this gets published beyond Faith Writers! Great job on this entry!
10/22/11
I have a (not so) private confession here, when I first read this, I thought you had stolen a look into my nano planning!

LoL

I enjoyed this entry. Though, I am sad to say that I can see this happening soon where our fiction becomes reality.
10/22/11
Interesting speculation of the future. Very well-written piece with lots of high stakes conflict. A couple of minor tweaks could increase the tension even more (assuming you want to). In the first paragraph for example, You could begin "At 3:00AM..." since we already know it's morning. And instead of "I was awakened" you could say, "I woke". 'Was' is a passive verb and slows down the pace, if even only slightly.

Anyway, these are only minor adjustments, and I loved this entry.
10/25/11
The dangers of search engines—how our lives are tagged all over the web in our writing fame! Reminds me of the verse, "For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light" (Luke 8:17 NAS). Positively looking at it, it bears us a testimony of our faith and accomplishments. This is a well written piece, painting the possible dark days that may come to us in living the faith even under persecution; a somewhat not so pleasant thought.