Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)

TITLE: in the aging mellow of an October day
By Jim McWhinnie
10/14/11


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

‘twas in the aging mellow of an October day ,
a savory, smoky day, when the changing begins
in slow and quiet ways, the gentle ways, the ways of growing old,
when the deepening of the last, past summer’s joy
into rustic, rusting honey-gold,
the bounder came,
with flicking tail of gray and fuzzy furry,
with twitching nose searching through the autumn air,
seemingly in determined, hurried care,
losing time, losing light, a hidden harvest he must find,
too much chattering in fussy fights with calico cat and hunting hawk,
too much chasing old friends up and down and down and up
the oak tree bark and the pine tree branch,
too much time, lost and gone,
bounding, bounding, stop and scratch,
bounding, bounding, stop and scratch,
where is that morsel, where is that stash,
here and there, two hops, three, where oh where,
near the unpainted, wooden, split rail fence,
behind the old man’s Adirondack chair,
here, there, seems I’ve looked almost everywhere,
ah, I found one, I mustn’t share,
must tuck away for a winter’s day,
bounding, bounding, stop and scratch,
bounding, bounding, stop and scratch,
Oh, no, the cat!
scrambling, scattering, off and away,
in the aging mellow of an October day.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 391 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Mona Purvis10/20/11
Love the descriptions of fall and nature. But, I didn't get how it is on topic. Maybe, the squirrel is searching? i'm not the best at figuring these deep ones out.

Mona
Yvonne Blake 10/21/11
Living in the Northeast, I could see the gray squirrel scurrying around in the leaves. I love the imagery and choice of words, but sorry to say, I don't think this could be counted a "search engine."


1. How well did this entry fit the topic? 0

2. How creative, unique, fresh and memorable was this entry? 4.9

3. How well crafted was this entry (grammar, predictability)? 4.6

4. Did the entry start well? 4.7

5. Did the entry come to a satisfying conclusion? 4.8

6. Was this entry clearly written and communicated? 4.6

7. Did it flow smoothly? 5.0

8. How publishable is this entry for its target audience? 4.5
Linda Goergen10/21/11
This is a magnificent poem and though it doesnt seem to touch topic in any way, I forgot that as I got caught up in the wonderfully descriptive vision of its lines.
I could see this in a childrens book with wonderful illustrations of the animals.
Thoroughly enjoyed! Blessings.
CD (Camille) Swanson 10/21/11
I enjoyed this so much. Nice job, and well written. I think this could be in a children's Christian magazine. Thank you. God Bless~
Beth LaBuff 10/22/11
Gorgeous phrases, word choices, images. You are a master! I plan to put this in my favorites.
Colin Swann10/23/11
With illustrations, an ejoyable and worhwhile
children's story. Also, a comment from my wife Gill - veeery goood!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/26/11
This paints such a lovely picture in my mind. Although the squirrel was searching I didn't really see the topic search engine. Many people have done a non-computer search and yours is quite creative and beautiful.