The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/20/11
To me, the entry is weak on the topic. Work on rules of puntuation and capitalization. The story needs a little work, but it's creative thinking.
10/21/11
10/21/11
I thought this was an excellent article. It drew me quickly into the story as I saw the young man's life evolve. I felt his pain of being fatherless, and mourned the wrong influence of the only one who ever treated him as a father. I admit that it came to me that the priest was his father, but not until I had almost completed my reading. The priest was not allowed to escape regret for his crime as he slowly realized that he was speaking with his son.
10/21/11
Nicely written-a touching story. I was somewhat surprised at the ending, but kind of felt it would be the priest who was the "father."

I enjoyed it. God Bless~
10/21/11
I must say this was a gripping story! Even though the topic was only lightly touched, it was woven into the story in a believable way. The characters were believable, though each very sad in their own way! I liked the ending too, where the consequences of the Priestís sins were openly seen and admitted. I found this to be an interesting read that I enjoyed! Well done.
This was a riveting story. I think it was a little weak on the topic. It was also a tad predictable I knew immediately the priest was going to be the father. There were a few typos- Father should be capitalized.Kid's should be kids. Overall, I did enjoy it, I think it had a strong message and even though I figured who the father was, I was still eager to read it.