The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/21/11
This was interesting, and I have been around people who have exaggerated their background, many times in my life.

So it is in fact believable-especially with one so young lacking in confidence as the MC clearly did.

Good job! God bless~
10/21/11
I thought this was a clever approach to the topic. I was emotionally drawn to the young MC, he was a strong and believable character who used the “search engine” in a unique way, yet very believable for someone as insecure as he was presented. I feel you have invented a character that
could be used in sequels to this and maybe have a whole book on this character and his progress of inner growing. I really enjoyed the read and thought this was well done.
10/23/11
I'm not sure you covered the topic adequately, even though you wrote about a young man who was, from my point of view, obvioously using a search engine to invent an identity.

I think your style was creative, not the ordinary fiction format. I like the way you moved from what your Mc was writing about to what he was thinking. You seemed to have a good grasp of grammar, and from the beginning, I was curious as to how the story would proceed. You did a good job of holding my interest to the end. Although, I thought your conclusion was a bit weak, and added little to the story overall.

As the reader, I felt sorry for the MC and had some emotional response to him, but in the end, I could not determine what message you wanted to leave the reader.
This is outstanding. It was spot on topic without Overdoing it The inner dialog was fantastic. I couldn't stop reading, from beginning to end you held me captive.
11/03/11
Definitely creative! You captivated my attention. This is both funny and sad at the same time. Great work!