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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)

TITLE: Soul Searching
By CD Swanson
10/07/11


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The tiny white coffin was atop the dirt,
The pain and anguish pierced her-oh, how she hurt.
Her baby lay in that coffin in her little pink dress,
Nothing would be the same again-her whole life a big mess.

A cacophony of voices murmured all around,
She desired to go where her sweet baby was bound.
How could she stand to go on anymore?
Her heart was hurting what else was in store?

She recalled, "I am sorry your baby didn't make it."
And her wobbly knees that were shaking, forcing her to sit.
She was visiting her old neighborhood, now shoddy,
Random shots had torn through her little girl's body.

A sniper who was sick and out of control,
Had evaded cops walking and on patrol.
She'd looked at her sweet baby girl gasping for air,
She remembered her first breath, and screamed, "how unfair."

She refused to leave the coffin, and sat on the ground,
With a trembling hand she picked up something she'd found.
And through an avalanche of tears she looked up above,
She felt it rushing down from heaven, all of His love.

She felt so alive with her find as she read,
"Why do you seek the living among the dead?"
She searched her mind and her heart,
"Lord, please show me where to start."

Thoughts and images flickered through her mind,
She now knew she would not be left behind.
Her heart was akin to an engine racing,
As the Lord showed her what she would be facing.

She left knowing her baby was with the Father today,
And that she could carry on with God showing her the way.
"Lord care for my little girl," she whispered, then said,
"And please Lord, please don't forget to tuck her in bed."


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This article has been read 379 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Theresa Santy 10/20/11
I am not qualified to critique poetry, but I can say I found this writing beautiful, and moving. I had a little trouble tapping into the topic, but I believe you were implying God, and His love and grace, as a search engine, yes?

At any rate, you had me from the first line to the last.
Marilyn Schnepp 10/20/11
The story itself was touching; however the poetic part of it was bumpy, not very smooth...a bit off rhythym-wise. More needed to be said about "Searching" for "answers" in order to hit the Subject Matter to a "T". But very good effort and a very heartfelt story. Nice job.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/21/11
This touched my heart and is sad but true. Though you used the words searching, you really didn't nail the topic. On the message boards there is a thread that clarifies the topic each week. The poem was lovely and constant a great message.
Linda Goergen10/21/11
I clearly see you were using the heart& mind as a “search engine” to seek God and seek answers…and the beautiful part is God gave what was needed! This poem was so emotional, taking the reader from the depths of despair at so senselessly losing her daughter, to the heights of joy when God answers and assures the mother. This poem is like a whole story - presented well in a few phrases – and it seems to make you feel and envision as much between the lines as in the lines. It’s a poem that will stick in my mind! I really enjoyed this! Very well done!
Leola Ogle 10/21/11
How touching and heart felt, so much emotion captured in a few lines. God bless!
Patricia Protzman10/22/11
A sad poem which reminded me of the day my infant grandson was buried. Although the topic was not covered and the flow and rhythm off kilter your words elicited strong emotions.
Hiram Claudio10/23/11
Really enjoyed this piece ... the transition where you understand the nature of what you are talking about it so subtle yet powerful. I agree in that this is the type of work that really will stick with the reader and get them thinking. Nicely done!
Edmond Ng 10/24/11
An engine racing within, desperately searching for God! A well crafted poem that speaks deep into the heart, showing the grief of one who has lost a loved one. Excellent writing!
Danielle King 10/25/11
Emotional, sad yet ending with a message of reassurance and hope. Not quite on topic though I understood the searching for answers part.
Joni LeRette-Flores 10/29/11
In the depths of such pain and loss, your poem expresses God's faithfulness to answer, to pour Himself into us and meet us where we are, to bring the only comfort available in the revelation and expression of Who He is. I can see your heart for God in your beautifully-expressed words, that God hears the soul's inaudibe expression in search of relief.
Noel Mitaxa 11/03/11
This is so powerful for its depth of emotion and pain; and to put it in poetic form shows real skill. Whether it nails the topic is totally irrelevant for me because of its quality of expression.
Beth LaBuff 11/03/11
What starts out as heart-breaking ends with a glorious message. I love the way you ended this. Very nice work!