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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Our Mutual Friend (not about the book) (09/15/11)

TITLE: A Shared Secret
By CD Swanson
09/15/11


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You cannot use the car Mandy, and I will not repeat this again! Use your legs that the good Lord gave you and walk.”

"But, Daddy..."

"Enough!"

Her dad was very even tempered and he very rarely got cross with anyone, least of all his children; but even he had his limits. Mandy knew when to stop...her father's facial scowl, along with the blue vein clearly bulging on the side of his neck, were two of the signs.

"Okay, I guess I will walk." Mandy walked into her mom's bedroom and looked at her mother.

"No Mandy."

"But, you are going to a wedding two hours away, and using your car…why can't I use Daddy's car just to go to my friend's house and back? I have my license for two weeks now, and haven't the opportunity to use it once! You are both archaic and unmoving."

"Yes, we still have the saddles when we were using horses; the answer is still no."

She kissed her daughter, "Now be good, dinner is already made, all you have to do is warm it up. We love you; call us if you need anything."

"I need the..."

"No!"

Her father’s voice called out, “Be good, we love you baby.”

And then the door shut, Mandy looked out the window, and saw the car disappear down the driveway and finally out of sight.

Her cell rang, "Hello?"

"We have a bet, did I win?"

"No Brooke you lost."

Mandy thought about what she was doing, and guilt crept in; but not for long.

"Hello, are you there?"

“I will be there in ten minutes; we can go shopping at the mall."

“Cool.”

Mandy grabbed the spare keys on the hook by the fridge. She was happy her sister was away at college. She never could have pulled this off with "Miss Big Mouth" the barometer of morality, and the sister from Hades at once; a veritable seesaw of convoluted behavior.

She got into her dad's SUV and within minutes she was at Brooke’s place.”

"This is awesome.”

"Okay, so we are going local to the Valley Shoppes."

"Cool."

Mandy parked far away from the rest of the cars. They shopped for an hour, had lunch and returned to the car.

Brooke screamed, "Oh no look!"

Mandy followed her finger and noticed the side view mirror had a big crack in it!

“This cannot be happening. My dad will lock me up in my room until I am an old lady of 25!"

"What are you doing to do?" Brooke's voice was shaking with anxiety.

"I have to fix this before they return. Hurry get in, I need to go to Doug's father's garage."

"But, won't he tell on you?"

"No, it’s only Doug on the weekends, his father and mom are at the wedding too!"

They got into the car and arrived at their mutual friend Doug’s garage.

"Doug you have to save me! Please my father doesn't know I took his car, when we came out of the plaza we saw this cracked mirror. Can you fix this NOW?"

Doug saw she was a wreck. "Probably, I have to see if the place that has this particular model mirror is opened; and if so no problems."

"Hurry"

After what seemed longer than listening to Miss Porter's lectures on World History, Doug came over smiling.

"I will have this done in about one hour, or slightly longer, relax in the waiting area.”

Mandy put her arms around Doug's neck and kissed him, "Oh my goodness, how can I ever thank you?"

Doug smiled, "You just did."

The mirror was replaced within the hour. Mandy drove directly home; Brooke was staying over, so they hung out making popcorn, and chatted convinced her parents would never find out.

"Act cool Brooke, like nothing happened. This is between us forever." They looked at each other it was in the vault.

"Hello honey, hello Brooke."

"Hello Mom."

"Hello Mrs. Larson."

"Hello sweet face, hello Brooke.” Her dad kissed her.

"Hello Daddy."

Brooke just smiled her heart in her mouth for her best friend.

"So Mandy you had a relatively quiet night?"

"Oh yes Daddy, really quiet just hanging out.”

"Nothing out of the ordinary occur?”

"No Daddy."

“Sweetheart starting tomorrow you will be grounded for one month.”

“Huh?”

“You see, I cracked the mirror yesterday.” He couldn’t help but smile as he walked upstairs.


Mandy dropped her popcorn!

Brooke fainted.




“Based on a true story.”


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This article has been read 350 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Bucca 09/23/11
Wow! I'm surprised to be the first to comment on this one. It's got quite a plot twist to it. LOL!
Noel Mitaxa 09/23/11
Obviously, Mandy needed to be a little more 'reflective' of her actions!!!
This was great. I loved it; as a trigger for a few memories of my own.
Virgil Youngblood 09/23/11
A fun story. A minor critique: quotation marks are needed at the beginning of the first sentence. And, "They looked at each other it was in the vault." made me stumble reading it and, I think, should be revised. Though you didn't specifically mention it, the moral lesson you learned is clearly understood. Well done.
Linda Goergen09/23/11
I had a feeling when I read about the mirror being replaced and it being kept secret that it was already broken and she hadn’t noticed! LOL I can see why dad smiled as he walked up the stairs, Mandy learned a valuable lesson about honesty and obedience and he had gotten his mirror fixed in the process! LOL Charming, lighthearted, well written story with a powerful message! Great job!
Hiram Claudio09/24/11
Loved this story. Well told and written. Being a parent, I also loved how the parent was NOT fooled in the end. Nice job.
Theresa Santy 09/27/11
Oh, so funny!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/09/11
This is a cute story. I did seethe ending coming but I like the fact it is a true story. You did agreat job with the dialog.