"Ooh gross!" cried Mabel as the bloated bog monster stuck out its slippery tongue at her. She couldn't believe anything so nasty had made its home inside her tummy.
Neither could the two heavenly sanitation engineers watching from the back of the room.
"Why did they ever send us here to this slimy abyss?" said one, a beautiful spirit named Gloria. She shivered.
"Courage," urged her fellow sanitation engineer Raphael. "We're here to take out the trash."
Looking at the slide was like wading through a bog. You never knew what lurked beneath the surface.
"It looks like the splattered broth of a rotten potato," said Mabel. "And what are those black wiggly things floating inside it? They look sort of like chromosomes. But I think - oh my! I think they're - they're letters!"
"That would be correct," said Doctor Berea. "If you look closely, you'll see they form a sentence."
Mabel squinted for a better look. "'Hearty... sewer... bile... sip heads? What on earth are those?"
Rafael nudged Gloria. "Get on your gloves. This is going to be messy."
"Done. But I'd prefer a ten foot pole."
"We have two swords. It is enough."
He too sounded nervous. If only they had more prayer cover!
Of all the beings in the room, Doctor Berea was the most confident. He looked Mabel straight in the eye. "Brace yourself. Because you're getting the truth, like it or not."
Ah. The truth. Music to an angel's ears.
"Whatever the truth is," said Mabel, "I can take it. I've suffered with this illness for ten long years. It's time we got to the bottom it."
"Okay," said Doctor Berea. "But try not to get too grossed out. Because believe it or not, you're looking at part of a Bible verse."
Mabel gasped. "A Bible verse? You've got to be kidding me!" For a moment she looked as if she might faint. So did Gloria.
"Steady," said Rafael. "Help me hold her up." He and Gloria fanned their wings.
Mabel took a deep breath and regained her composure. "I'm okay. Continue please. I can handle it."
"Okay," said Doctor Berea. "If you really want the truth, the words to that Bible verse have been scrambled, dissected, blown to bits by the acid ravaging your digestive tract."
Without a word he changed slides, shining a brand new picture onto his "Hezekiah's wall." This was the same verse, he explained, taken from the guts of a healthy Christian. Mabel looked up to see a joyful soup of alphabet letters sweetly lined up like soldiers to form the words, "By His stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:5, KJV)."
"Wow!" cried Mabel, gazing in awe at the brand new image. "What a difference! Why I could just die!"
"And why is that?" asked Doctor Berea.
"Because I've read that passage umpteen times, but never saw it in that light before. I wonder why?"
The doctor cleared his throat. "Now for the bad news."
"I can take it," said Mabel.
"Hear that?" whispered Rafael in Gloria's ear. "If she can take it, you can too."
Gloria gulped. "Come on, doctor. Just give it to us straight. We can be brave."
"Okay then," said Doctor Berea, putting away both slides. "I'm going to give it to you straight. I fear you have a parasite called 'Sad Person Yeast.' It's a vicious beast that completely disagrees with God's Word. Prowling around the cave of your stomach like a gassy wolf, it puffs doubt into every pen stroke you take in. That explains your chronic diverticulitis."
Mabel looked ready to puke.
"Yuck!" said Gloria. "I don't know how much more of this I can take!"
"It's okay," said Rafael, putting a wing around her shoulder. "We're dealing with a spirit of infirmity. You've helped me cast them out before."
"Yes, but they're so unclean! And all those putrid lies - Don't make me go there. Please!" She paused to adjust her plague mask. It barely blocked the stench.
"I know," said Rafael. "False doctrine stinks. That's why we're here - to bring deliverance." He raised his sword. "To the bathroom!"
Gloria took a deep breath and raised her own sword. "To the bathroom then. Do or die."
Note: Sad Person Yeast = the leaven of the Sadducees (see Matthew 16:11)
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