The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/06/11
Now this was different, most definitely thinking outside the box. There's a hidden message in here of a Great Price that was paid for us as well.
09/06/11
Reading the beginning, the story certainly went in an unexpected direction but it was an enjoyable read and good vision of unmerited favor!
09/07/11
This was an original story to illustrate the point and the message came over loud and clear!
09/07/11
Nice, and so true about the high price.

Since you asked...the dialogue didn't feel real for guys. Also, I'm not sure I "got" all the symbolism between the game, and the reason they were there. Could just be me.

But I love how you wrapped it up. He never disappoints!
I liked it. It was creative and original. I heard the message loud and clear without you stating it.
09/13/11
Original and well done.