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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Great Expectations (not about the book) (08/25/11)

TITLE: In Order of Importance
By Veronica Winley
08/30/11


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Thanks for suggesting we take a walk instead of going to the movies.
I love the park at this time of year.
Yes, Fall is my favorite season tooÖnext to spring.

Have you noticed how we appreciate some of the same things?
Like what else? Oh, I donít know, like the spectacular colors in a rainbow. Remember when we were walking in the rain the other day and saw one?
OK, maybe it didnít have all my favorite colorsĖ Iím very partial to chartreuse.

What? You donít like chartreuse? It is not a fancy name for lime green.
Brown! You prefer brown? No offense, but does anyone really like brown?
I mean anyone other than you.

Do you know when I first met you, (has it really been just six weeks ago?)
I thought it wouldnít work?

Why? Well, you know, little things - theyíre not important now.
Ok, if you insist; things like, well, for instance, that odd, snakelike tattoo on your arm.
Nothingís wrong with it exactly. Itís just strange, thatís all.
No, I donít expect everyone to look and be like me.
They should? Oh, thatís so sweet!

So, how was your day?
Yeah, mine seemed long too. This walk is probably the best part of my day.

Did I tell you that yesterday I saw a homeless man with no legs?
He was begging and had a little dog tied with a piece of rope.
They both looked so hungry.
I almost cried as I gave him all my cash.

What do you mean Iím way too soft?
You didnít see his eyes; they looked really sad and lost andÖ hurt.
Ok, Ok, Iíll leave it alone. But I see Iíll have to give you a compassion pill.

Tell me, what are your favorite classics? Yes, I mean books, Silly.
Youíre right, that does leave out Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Right now Iím reading Wuthering HeightsÖfor the third time.
What? I canít believe you just said itís boring and makes no sense!
How can undying love make no sense?
Oh, you prefer action, adventure and car chases.
Hmm, I see.

I have to ask, why do you sometimes frown at me when weíre in a crowd?
I do what? No, I didnít know that sometimes I laugh too loudly.
You mean I embarrass you? I didnít realizeÖIíve been told my laugh is Öinfectious.
No, Iím not sulking and you didnít hurt my feelings - Iím thinking, thatís all.

Oh, I almost forgot, my parents would like to meet you.
Donít groan! How about coming to church with us on Sunday, with lunch afterwards?
ďUhh, maybe one day?Ē Thatís kind of vague, isnít it?
I donít understand. What do you mean you donít ďdoĒ church?
Yes, it is important to me- very important. In my family, we love the Lord, put God first
Öand we worship on Sunday. I thought you knew that.

Wait a minute. Iím not sure I like your smile. Did I say something funny?
Smarter than that? You thought I was smarter than that?
Well, I think Iím a genius to love Someone who will love me perfectly and forever!
You donít agree. Ok, thatís your right. Iím really sorry, though, that you feel that way.

You know, it seems to me that perhaps my first thought was right-
Itís probably not going to work out with us.
We have different expectations and ideas about whatís important.
Yes, Iím sure.
Youíre really great and lots of fun Öbut maybe not for me.
However, Iím going to pray for you, that God will raise your sights- to Him.

2 Cor. 6:14-15 ďDo not be yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship does light have with darknessÖwhat does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?Ē(NIV)


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This article has been read 234 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Leola Ogle 09/02/11
Very compelling exchange of words between the two mc's. Well done! I'm glad the girl decided to move on in the end. God bless!
Danielle King 09/03/11
I liked the way you used little punctuation and yet it read very easily right the way through and also illustrated a biblical truth. Well done!
Camille (C D) Swanson 09/03/11
I enjoyed the whole story, a common thread of society overall...There will always be the believers versus the non-believers. My favorite line, "However, Iím going to pray for you, that God will raise your sights- to Him." Amen. God Bless~

Linda Goergen09/05/11
Very effective one sided conversation that leaves no doubt as to what the other was saying! It is masterful how you so vividly showed the character of both through the conversation of only one! You really brought home the extreme difference in their character when the one had no compassion for the homeless man with no legs and his little dog! Just a terrific job on this and the message is so true! Too many Christians go ahead and marry non-believers and so much pain and heartache could be avoided if that did not happen! On a comical light noteÖI had to laugh at the conversation about chartreuse Ė it is one of the few colors that I truly dislike! My family teases me about it! Too bad it was the unbelieving one who disliked the color as I do! LOL LOL But I thoroughly enjoyed this read! Great job!
Cheryl von Drehle09/07/11
This is excellent! Very creative treatment of the subject, and the one-sided dialog is quite effective in communicating both characters' feelings. Great job!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/07/11
I really like how you presented this unique take on the topic. It drew me in right away and kept me to the end.

Small editing note: Okay should be spelled out or both letters capitalized.

This story is one I'm sure many can relate to. I know I didn't want to feel lonely so it was easy to think the wrong person was the right one. I paid dearly for that choice, and hope your story will stop others from choosing the wrong person for the wrong reason.
Danielle King 09/08/11
Congratulations Veronica on placing 3rd with this cleverly written piece.
Camille (C D) Swanson 09/08/11
Congratulations on your win! Nice job. God Bless you~
Lillian Rhoades 09/08/11
Lovely, creative style, unique form, great title.
I sign off on the rest of the comments. Great win! Congratulations!!