The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/25/11
Interesting way of "teaching the truth" - especially to a vulnerable sponge such as the child's mind. Nice job...God Bless~
I read this one first, because your title took me by storm. A hook for a title. Excellent. But then, you didn't disappoint in the body of the writ. I loved how you used the coffee as a vehicle in the story, and the imagery it gave us with the boy trying to swallow the bitter reality. Yes, if we continue to sip from the pseudo science of evolution, we in fact will get accustomed to the taste. Well done mystery writer.
Well done! I enjoyed it.
08/26/11
Clever parallel story here - and I'm with the skeptical monkey at the zoo. "Evolution? Nah, can't be true. You can't tell me I'm my keeper's brother!!"
Good fun stuff.
08/27/11
Great story-good analogy! Loved it from beginning to end! Uh...but I hate coffee...to this day! Maybe I should try the 30 cup thing!lol God bless!
The subtle irony in the story
helps the reader to appreciate the context in which the story is told.
I wish more parents would immediatly repudiate the lie of evolution before the child's mind had absorbed it.

Your analagy is superb.
Juliette
08/28/11
Great job! I too love that analogy and think it's a really clever take on the topic.
This is a fun story and it made me chuckle and appreciate Mom's approach.

Remember to capitalize Mom and Daddy when they are being used as a name.

Congratulations for ranking 6th in level 3!