The Official Writing Challenge
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10/17/05
Very sweet.
10/17/05
Very compelling! Left me wanting to know more and that would be a good thing :)
I very much enjoyed this. We MUST remember the millions of little ones who go to bed hungry every night. This was a gentle reminder.
Wow! I agree, I want to know what happened next! Well done and GRIPPING. Seems you successfully packed a lot of depth into 750 words. :-)
I got goosebumps when the lady said the name Carlos. Well done!!
10/17/05
I love this kind of story, especially one that involve the undeniable hand of God (I guess I could have just said, "miracle story" :-)) Wonderful, progressive story-telling. Kept me hanging on til the end. I'd also love to hear "the rest of the story". But the ending leaves something to the imagination, which is always a good thing too.
Excellent writing!
Blessings, Lynda
10/17/05
A creative woman, a brave child. It sounds like the beginning of a longer tale.
10/18/05
This is one of the best I have read so far! Very skillful story-weaving! AZ far too common event from many parts of the world...the desparation of children left to fend for themselves. Stirs my heart to desire to reach out to them!
10/18/05
Drew me right in and kept me reading. Very good.
10/19/05
Heartwrenching to read, but written with tightly-woven craftsmanship! Too sad that this may be the hardship of some young ones; lucky some are lifted from their fate and their hardship.
10/20/05
Powerful ... especially as the end suggests that the 'If only' just might come about! Beautiful writing.
10/20/05
Wow. This story held my attention throughout. Your words painted pictures. Well done.
Incredibly stirring and inspiring! Such a bittersweet story of the 'lost and found'!
10/20/05
A powerful and well-written story. I love the repetition of words: deep down tired, and deep down ready. Great job!
10/20/05
If only I could see what happened when she went to the shed. Does she find out that Carlos has found his way to her? What a good story. God is sooo wonderful.
I love how you switched from one pov to the other, weaving the two stories into one. Great job!
10/21/05
Powerful, well written, and challenging. Thank you. :) Karen
Wow Pat! This is awesome! Gave me goosebumps!
10/21/05
Very sweet. I was almost dissapointed it was the grandson. I don't know...i guess cuz i thought he and the daughter were dead at first and that she was rescuing someone who really had noone. But anyway, great job.
I loved this story! This could turn into something much more. Good Job!
10/23/05
This was a tear jerker!! Your use of descriptive phrases worked so well! And the verse at the end was perfect!!
10/24/05
Pat, this was a very good story and I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you ranked 11th in the Level 3 list, and 19th overall (out of 135 entries). So well done! The competition on Level 3 was pretty fierce, but overall there really wasn't much separating the entries in the top 30. Keep up the great writing. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)



03/16/06
Glad I came back to read this :) I enjoyed your current entry even more, now that I see the tie in to this one! Well done (having lock in both -perfect set up :)
03/17/06
Reading your current entry was intriguing, but now going back for the "history" makes it even better. Curiousity will keep me reading - I wonder if Carlos in the shed is her grandson. Only you know the answer. Keep writing!
03/27/06
I'm certainly glad that I went back after reading your 'Lock' story to track down this entry! It was a very interesting read, and it helped put the other story in perspective for me a little.