The Official Writing Challenge
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Very sweet.
Very compelling! Left me wanting to know more and that would be a good thing :)
I very much enjoyed this. We MUST remember the millions of little ones who go to bed hungry every night. This was a gentle reminder.
Wow! I agree, I want to know what happened next! Well done and GRIPPING. Seems you successfully packed a lot of depth into 750 words. :-)
I got goosebumps when the lady said the name Carlos. Well done!!
I love this kind of story, especially one that involve the undeniable hand of God (I guess I could have just said, "miracle story" :-)) Wonderful, progressive story-telling. Kept me hanging on til the end. I'd also love to hear "the rest of the story". But the ending leaves something to the imagination, which is always a good thing too.
Excellent writing!
Blessings, Lynda
A creative woman, a brave child. It sounds like the beginning of a longer tale.
This is one of the best I have read so far! Very skillful story-weaving! AZ far too common event from many parts of the world...the desparation of children left to fend for themselves. Stirs my heart to desire to reach out to them!
Drew me right in and kept me reading. Very good.
Heartwrenching to read, but written with tightly-woven craftsmanship! Too sad that this may be the hardship of some young ones; lucky some are lifted from their fate and their hardship.
Powerful ... especially as the end suggests that the 'If only' just might come about! Beautiful writing.
Wow. This story held my attention throughout. Your words painted pictures. Well done.
Incredibly stirring and inspiring! Such a bittersweet story of the 'lost and found'!
A powerful and well-written story. I love the repetition of words: deep down tired, and deep down ready. Great job!
If only I could see what happened when she went to the shed. Does she find out that Carlos has found his way to her? What a good story. God is sooo wonderful.
I love how you switched from one pov to the other, weaving the two stories into one. Great job!
Powerful, well written, and challenging. Thank you. :) Karen
Wow Pat! This is awesome! Gave me goosebumps!
Very sweet. I was almost dissapointed it was the grandson. I don't know...i guess cuz i thought he and the daughter were dead at first and that she was rescuing someone who really had noone. But anyway, great job.
I loved this story! This could turn into something much more. Good Job!
This was a tear jerker!! Your use of descriptive phrases worked so well! And the verse at the end was perfect!!
Pat, this was a very good story and I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you ranked 11th in the Level 3 list, and 19th overall (out of 135 entries). So well done! The competition on Level 3 was pretty fierce, but overall there really wasn't much separating the entries in the top 30. Keep up the great writing. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)

Glad I came back to read this :) I enjoyed your current entry even more, now that I see the tie in to this one! Well done (having lock in both -perfect set up :)
Reading your current entry was intriguing, but now going back for the "history" makes it even better. Curiousity will keep me reading - I wonder if Carlos in the shed is her grandson. Only you know the answer. Keep writing!
I'm certainly glad that I went back after reading your 'Lock' story to track down this entry! It was a very interesting read, and it helped put the other story in perspective for me a little.