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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Importance of Being Earnest (not about the play) (08/04/11)

TITLE: I Am She
By Beth Muehlhausen
08/10/11


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I Am She


Today I am forever changed,
Because of you, child.
My self-absorption is evaporating.

A divine essence resides deep within
Your tiny, flailing body
Still purple and wet in my arms,
Calling me outside myself.

For a moment, creases carve your brow
As terror flashes across your face
And you shudder, involuntarily:
A startle response.

You seem to ask,
“Who am I?”
And,
“Whose am I?”

Consumed by an instinctive gnawing, grinding hunger you cry:
“Feed me - someone must FEED ME!”

Wailing and desperate, you insist:
“Protect me, nurture me!”

You know nothing of your soul,
And yet it also screams to be fed:
“Teach, inspire, love, and enable me!”

Finally, one more question erupts.
“WHERE AM I?”

Who will answer?

It is I, child.
Shhhh.
It is I.
Your mother.

My heart stretches forth within me,
Eager to embrace all of you -
The mystery of your body and soul, knit together,
Created in God’s image.
I stare beyond your perfectly formed fingers and toes
And envision - can it be? - an inner, eternal spirit.

Like some shadowy but fertile valley
Waiting to be filled with glad sunshine and rain –
Waiting to be tested by hardship and pain –
You, in your innocent and vast smallness,
In your magnificent perfection
Created for eternity,
Depend on me.

My degree of apathy or love
For you, and for the Lord of Life,
Will foretell much of your future.
I face the responsibility,
And tremble.

Someday I could stand trial for the life or death of your heart.

Should you sense flippancy,
Indifference,
Withdrawal,
You will diminish.

Should you sense love,
Praise,
Commitment,
You will thrive.

Your emerging identity will mirror
My degree of devotion to you,
And to Him,
In the form of self-acceptance or self-loathing;
Trust or mistrust.

My witness to faith in God,
And hope for you,
Either superficial or abiding,
Will bear testimony in your own precious heart.

I hold you, now,
And guide your eager mouth to my breast.
Shhhh, child. Here. I am here.
Suckle and
Be satisfied.

Silent tears carve cheek-trenches
As I, too, cry out quietly with pleas
Emanating from,
And projecting to,
Heavenly places –
Whispers that beg God to raise me higher,
To replace selfishness and fear
With His mercy and love.

My tears fall on your tiny face,
Flushed and pink now,
Cleansing you with desire and hope.

Surely you and I are
One with him.

Shhhh, child.
Know this:
I am weak, but I am His.
The Potter will use me to shape you.
I am here, and I will never forsake you.
I am your mother.


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This article has been read 361 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Amica Joy 08/11/11
Wonderful. Well done!
Charla Diehl 08/11/11
This is so tenderly and beautifully written that I am misty eyed right now. This made me reflect on my feelings 40+ years ago when I held my first daughter for the first time.
Superb!
Andrea Willard08/13/11
I held that baby in my arms as I read I Am She. I saw her destiny, her purpose and it is good good good. Well done.
Margaret Kearley 08/13/11
Wow! This is absolutely wonderful, and beautiful. I have several 'favourite lines' so I won't mention them all. However I have quickly saved the whole in my favourites - to ponder on - there is so much here. Thankyou
CD Swanson 08/13/11
Brilliant piece of writing! I loved it...I loved it! I was right there the whole time, it ran as a movie in my mind. This faith inspired story gave a lot for its readers to ingest and digest. The responsibility we all have as parents, and raising them properly in faith can be mind numbing at first. Great job! God Bless you~
Linda Goergen08/15/11
Reminds us mothers of many of the feelings that flooded us as we held our dear little ones for the first time...well written, emotion packed visual message! Enjoyed!
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/18/11
Congratulations on an EC for this beautiful poem.
Rachel Phelps08/18/11
Lovely, lovely writing. Congratulations on your EC!
Margaret Kearley 08/20/11
Am so thrilled this was recognised in the EC Beth - many congratulations - it is just so beautiful, and when I read it again, I see new treasures! Just lovely!