The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh so sad.

I'm not qualified to critique, yet I wonder if you showed more about how the mother neglects Kacey, we would get a better picture of the situation.

Also, mention early on how the father and brother left the situation and the mother did not care. That would set the scene to qualify having CPS involved.

I think you still got it! After all, you are in Masters! :)
08/05/11
You've created a lot of drama. Both the mother and daughter touched my heart with their separate challenges. You've drawn me in to their plight and made me wish I could help. Great subject for the topic!
I’ve seen this behavior up close and personal. Have to watch out for it in myself even. Attaching more importance to things than to relationships is unhealthy and destructive. Good job on this story!
You had a very creative take on the topic and presented an emotional story very well. I don't think I'd ever thought about what happens to the family of an obsessive collector of "stuff."
08/07/11
Your story caused me to feel the frustration but I felt sad for mum being deserted. Maybe I'm just too soft!
08/07/11
A great sketch of the pain that co-dependent people have to endure when someone is out of control and is blind to it.
08/09/11
Very original idea.

The second bus scene seemed unrealistic to me as far as timing. Kacey barely boarded the bus, exchanged a few lines and then got off the bus. Couldn't have been more than 30 seconds or so. I realize she must have gotten off at one of the first stops, but it seemed unlikely that a bus stop would be that close to the school.

I really liked your idea and the complexities in the characters. Sad ending, but real.
08/10/11
I have watched those hoarding shows on TV and it is beyond my comprehension that people can live that way. I understand it is a sickness but the poor people like your MC that have to endure the pain of another’s choices. All those piles of “nothing” that hoarders let bring so much misery to their families is beyond sad! An interesting take on the topic and well written, realistic piece.