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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Crime and Punishment (not about the book) (07/21/11)

TITLE: The Treasure that Betrays
By Melanie Kerr
07/28/11


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I saw, I took, I didnít think
Such treasure would be missed
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
A prize hard to resist

That day I chose to rescue them
From biting burning flame
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
I stole and felt no shame

Too many years with empty purse
I claimed my own reward
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
A small but precious hoard

With slick, sly stealth I hid my prize
Beneath the dusty ground
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
In stroking, pleasure found

The things we hide from kith and kin
From God are not concealed
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
Were soon to be revealed

The sons of Ai so puny, small
Our victory surely won
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
Our triumph had undone

Joshua fell with saddened heart
To hear Jehovah speak
ďA robe, some coins, a bar of gold
This stolen treasure seekĒ

As tribes and clans and families
We passed before Godís eye
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
Revealed - the thief was I

At once I knew but far too late
Just where true treasure lay
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
Would one day rust, decay

My wife, my children, thirty men
True treasure soundly spurned
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
For tawdry trinkets burned

We see, we take, we do not think
Where selfish actions end
A robe, some coins, a bar of gold
To Hadesí flames can send


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This article has been read 553 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Allison Egley 07/29/11
Oh, I like this. I loved the repeated line in all the stanzas.
Colin Swann07/30/11
Absolutely loved this one. A Bible story where someone thought it just little sin to steal which was indeed a big one and caused so much defeat.
I hope this does well for you.
Phee Paradise 07/30/11
I loved your story telling. I anticipated the end and felt the anguish in the realization of throwing away true treasure.
Noel Mitaxa 08/01/11
Simple, strong and creative POV on a major setback caused by a 'minor' crime. Well narrated.
Catrina Bradley 08/02/11
Great poetic telling of this Bible story! The repeated line worked well. Excellent job.
Laury Hubrich 08/02/11
Great Bible truth told you in a unique way. Great job!
Lillian Rhoades 08/02/11
The rhythm flows, and the recurring refrain blends in so well. Loved the title and the message - not preachy.
Verna Cole Mitchell 08/03/11
You did an excellent job of connecting the sin in the Bible story to our own, making for a powerful message.
Margaret Kearley 08/04/11
A very powerful poem - excellently written. The repetition of the 3rd line really stroikes with strong force. Excellent.
Lillian Rhoades 08/04/11
A big round of applause. Well deserved!