The Official Writing Challenge
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I like that the MC's emotions are the focal point and not the crime. The conclusion is satisfying with peace for the character.
08/02/11
Great intro, drew me in right away! This was well-written: good descriptions from the MC's perspective, nice breaks with your paragraph divisions, organized, flowed nicely. It felt like you were building up to something, but the transition to your final paragraph (and point) seemed awkward, like you were running close to your word limit so quickly jumped to the main idea. I really like this, just think the ending needs some refining. Good job!
08/03/11
This is a great first chapter, because I agree that it does seem rushed at the end. You have guided us clearly through much of the tension and emotion of jury duty, but a couple of very minor glitches "Does - read do - the eleven..." and "painstaking" is one word instead of two. Otherwise excellent flow and credibility.