The Official Writing Challenge
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07/29/11
Heartwrenching. The emotion in this poem is very strong, but I don't sense any hope.
07/30/11
Wow! A very disturbing piece. My heart goes out to those who lose it and suffer so - and it does happen that's for sure!
07/30/11
You've captured the bleak reality of ongoing tragedy for so many people unless we reach in and stick around witn the comapssion and the patience of God's grace. Well done.
08/02/11
This is very well written. Hopelessness cannot be described better. Would like to see God's grace at work in this story - in sequal No. 2. :-)
08/04/11
good poem the simplictity and the dissonance particularly in the final lines of each "verse" are very telling. I think it is all the more powerful for NOT having a trite happy ending to the story.
I actually think the hope is in the poem more from the recognition of the PERSON that you are writing about as an individual and telling the story, which is the story of many.
well written and good choice to write in the 2nd person -- that can be difficult to do but I think it works well here; adds a certain sense of drama and poignancy