The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 823 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/22/11
This entry is this week's randomly chosen winner of our weekly bonus prize--a free ratings feedback report. The author will be contacted today via the Private Messenger service with more information.

Congratulations. :-)

Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
07/23/11
I love your story. You did a great job but I think your ending fell a bit short. Your characters are wonderful, though. What an awesome surprise for a groom to plan for his bride!
07/23/11
Ah, romance.

I thought the dialog was right on. I might have edited down a shade but I sense that playful interplay is the delight of this story.

As a soul steeped in masculinity, I found my self blushing all the way through this piece. I reckon we tend to experience things more in terms of the actions rather than the conversations.

Gifted storytelling that brought the reader into the experience.
Not sure why you think it's so bad...it's....cute. Maybe a little predictable but I'm a sucker for a love story. Good job!
07/24/11
You're definitely too hard on yourself with this one. I think it's delightful--sweet interplay between the characters, a romantic surprise and generally a clever take on the topic. I also enjoyed the little twist at the end, where SHE is suddenly the one to feel impatient. I know you asked for red-ink but you're going to have to wait for the indepth critique--I can't find too many negatives!
I love to read love stories, and this one did not disappoint. I really like how you carried out the theme of Christians "wait" until marriage. That does make for a happy anticipation anticipation of beginning married life. I thought it was all presented in good taste. I really like the twist at the end.--no criticisms here.
07/25/11
A truly emotion-packed story that titillates the reader's heart strings. Your writer's instincts were dead on - the story was "red hot",but the title was lukewarm. :-)

Red ink? This may be one place to consider: "This is it, babe. You and me. Mr. and Mrs." Not an expert on this, but I would rewrite as one sentence.

There was a warm, old fashioned, poignant flavor to your story about "true" love. With the exception of a few grammar issues, you told it well.
07/25/11
Loved the fun, the respectful sense of anticipation and the generosity behind the change of plans. Excellent work
07/25/11
Good story - sorry, but I don't see anything to "red ink" at all! How can you "hate" this, anyway? Funny girl!
Hey you!!! Love this sweet little romance. I can picture the air guitar, the golden hair and all, and the characterizations and conversation made this couple very real. The message, it's so much better to wait, is so well told too.

Huge congratulations on your very well deserved high placement!
Congratulations!!! You did it again! I'm glad this delightful story did not escape the judges' notice.
07/29/11
I love this romantic-wistful slice-of-life story. This completely engaged this reader! Excellent -- and congrats on your EC!