The Official Writing Challenge
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Great beginning holding the readers interest throughout and concluding with a powerful message. I enjoyed this very much!
07/22/11
Lovely strong message, very well concluded in the last paragraph.
07/25/11
Very strong message, but I would have liked to see a little further development of the purpose, as you don't appear to have got too close to the limit. One small typo refers to smoke bellowing (should be "billowing") under the door; however the roar of a house fire could legitimise such a typo.
07/26/11
This short little story would make a great tract, with its important message, because this is certainly the wake-up call no one would want and if Shane’s testimony could spare even one to not make things the focus of their life, how wonderful!

I do agree with Noel that a bit more space could have been given to letting us see how Shane made things his focus before the fire.
07/27/11
Powerful and interesting take, nicely done!