Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: This Side of Paradise (not about the book) (07/14/11)

TITLE: Joyful Stupor
By Laury Hubrich


Grandpa watched his grandchildren as they romped and played in the field.

“Gramps,” Nate called, “Watch this!” The hare took a flying leap from a hill and tumbled three times before landing bottom first onto the soft ground.

“You okay, Son? That was quite a landing.”

Nate sat in a daze just a second before the rest of his cousins charged at him full speed. They surrounded him and pelted him with questions.

“Nate, watcha doing?”

“Why do you fly like that?”

“How come you don’t keep four feet on the ground like a normal bunny?”

“Why are you so weird?”

Their grandpa finally caught up with them to save his favorite little bunny. “Leave Nate be, all of you. Get on home. I’m sure it’s time for a nap or a spanking or something.”

The spoiled bunnies didn’t move so Grandpa pulled out his extra deep voice. “I said SHOO!” That sent them scattering.

Nate, still a little dizzy from his fall and all the questions from his cousins, wiped a tear away. “Sorry I’m different.”

“That’s nothing to be sorry about, Nate. You’re being yourself. That’s a good thing. All your cousins, I can’t even tell them apart. Mopsy, Topsy, Lopsy, Bopsy… All they do is hop and, well, hop.”

“Gramps, when I was up in the air, I saw something. I need you to follow me, okay?”

“Well, that depends, Son. What did you see?”

“I…” Nate put his head down.

“You’ve always been able to tell me everything. Put your chin up here and talk to me.”

“Grampa, I’m pretty sure I saw Paradise!” Nate talked fast, he was so excited. “You see, I’ve been jumping off this hill for awhile now, just so I could make sure what I’ve been seeing. And today…well, I know it’s real.”

“Slow down, Son. “What did you see?”

“I saw the Garden of Eden, just like you told us about from the Bible. We’re so close, Gramps! Can’t you smell those veggies?”

They both raised their noses and sniffed the air.

“No Son, I can’t smell anything but dandelions.”

“But you believe me, right?” Nate’s big brown eyes bore into his grandpa’s.

“Lead the way, Nate.”

Nathan’s smile took up his whole head. “Okay! Gramps, while we travel, please tell me again what it was like for all the animals to sit just outside of Paradise.”

“It was a horrible time. Our ancestors were used to vegetables as big as cars and as sweet as chocolate bars in the Garden of Eden. Can you imagine? No one fought over food, either. There was plenty for everyone! Eve treated the animals like pets, too. She loved them all, you know. Oh! That was the life. But after Adam and Eve sinned, well, it wasn’t easy.

“There was an angel guard at the gate of Paradise. No one could get in ever again. It’s been told the animals would stand there and drool. The angel finally had to get tough and shoo them away. They had to learn to go forage for themselves. Tough love, that’s when that phrase came into existence, I’m thinking.”

Nate giggled. “Like when you shooed away all my cousins today?”


“Adam and Eve made fences to keep out the animals then, right, Gramps? That’s when we became enemies?”

“I guess you could say that, Nate. They had to learn to grow their own food and they didn’t want animals to eat up all their hard work.”

“So ever since then, it’s been man verses animals, right Gramps?”

“Yes, that it has indeed.”

“I don’t like being this side of Paradise. I want to be where the good stuff is and I’m pretty sure I found it. Just look!” Nate and Gramps peered in through a hole in a wooden fence.

“Ooooooh.” Nate gasped.

Gramps whistled.

They looked at each other. They raised their noses in the air and took a big whiff. They looked at each other again. They lifted their floppy ears. They took a whiff again. It was just too much to ignore.

“Nate, I do believe you did found Paradise.”

They squeezed under the fence.

“Gramps,” Nate whispered, “we’re not just outside Paradise anymore, are we?”


They stood, both noses twitching in delight.

“We should probably run home and tell everyone, huh?” Nate said.

“Probably.” Gramps answered.

Two rows of sugar beats and a half a row of carrots later, Grandfather and Grandson lay in a joyful stupor, just inside Paradise.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 603 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Amica Joy07/22/11
Rabbit Paradise. Great idea!
Beth LaBuff 07/22/11
I loved all the names, Mopsy, Topsy, Lopsy, and Bopsy :) With all the anticipation and description of paradise I was really hoping they'd make it in. :) You didn't disappoint. What an entertaining story! :)
Kimberly Russell07/23/11
Awww...I loved this! Was so hoping that the bunnies would find a garden paradise. Yay them!
Eliza Evans 07/23/11
Delightful and endearing!

I laughed out loud at Grandpa's "Probably." I could just see that. :) :)

You made me wish (almost!) for a batch of bunnies in my garden. :)
Marita Thelander 07/23/11
So what kind of animal would think a chocolate factory was paradise? :)

Cute characterizations. Love the "voice".
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/24/11
Fun all the way through!
Edy T Johnson 07/25/11
This is a delightful story. I can see it illustrated as a children's book!
Jim McWhinnie 07/26/11
Simply delicious!

I loved the verbs all through this piece!

I am not sure what "precious" means but it must somehow refer to this little gem.
Edmond Ng 07/27/11
A delightful read! Enjoyed the plot and the story thoroughly. I like how you included biblical truths—the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve, the Fall, the banishment, and the angel guarding the Garden (Genesis 3:23-24). Excellent writing!
Noel Mitaxa 07/27/11
Nice touch reminiscent of Beatrix Potter. Very colorful images.