The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/22/11
This has a nice gentle lilt to it. Nice bits of island history woven in as well.
I like this story of what has become a faux paradise.
Monique's memories of the island before it is commercialised is so evocative that one feels the pangs of regret which she is experiencing.
So many beautiful places have been sold short...

'...her aching (feed) feet...'

'At times her national pride got the (best) better of her.'

'They don't, however, (wan't) want you...'

A delightful read despite the echoing sadness.

07/26/11
I like how you have highlighted the hidden side of tourism, to emphasise the dignity of the local people, and done so in a credible narrative.