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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: War and Peace (not about the book) (07/07/11)

TITLE: Conundrum
By Cheryl von Drehle
07/12/11


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The bombs burst in the air
Exploding glitter across the black night canvas
Raining a million shards of gems
Upon the earth

The children of earth
Shriek in glee
Gales of wonder and praise
Clapping hands at lights and noise

Why do we imitate war when we celebrate peace?
Are they such close kin we cannot distinguish
One from the other? Waging war in search of peace
Shouting Peace, Peace
But it is war in masquerade
Shedding its mask to reveal its sword

Start anywhere

The reverie of the verdant forest
A place to meditate undisturbed
The jewel studded night sky over the cool desert expanse
Worlds at peace

Look closer

The hawk of the forest stalking the robinís nest
Greedily waiting for eggs to hatch
Black holes collapsing and light year
Distant worlds colliding
All worlds at war

My garden beckons to me
With its lush green serenity of peace
Beneath which a war is waging
Between weeds and flowers
Pests and seedlings

In another garden the kiss of a friend
Ignites the war that ends on a cross
A war to bring coveted lasting peace
That at last does not contain the seed of war


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This article has been read 367 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Deborah Porter 07/14/11
This entry is this week's randomly chosen winner of our weekly bonus prize--a free ratings feedback report. The author will be contacted today via the Private Messenger service with more information.

Congratulations. :-)

Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Deborah Porter 07/14/11
Dear Cheryl,

At the start of this year, we introduced a new bonus prize, chosen at random, for one Challenge entrant each week. You can find out all about it here on the message boards:

http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=32188

And your entry in the War and Peace Challenge is our bonus prize winner for this week.

The prize is a free Ratings Feedback report for that entry; however, as this is always a quite thorough and honest critique, we donít want to force it onto anyone who doesnít want to receive it. You can find a link to an example of the report in the above post on the message boards.

So now I just need to hear from you, by reply email, as to whether you would like to receive what is, basically, a professional mini-assessment of your entry. If you would, then that report will be made available to you some time in the week or so after the Challenge winners are announced next Thursday.

Congratulations on being a bonus prize winner. Now I just need to hear from you by email.

In His Love,

Deb
FaithWriters.com

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Deborah Porter 07/14/11
Oops ... once again, hit the wrong button (sorry). (Blush)
Sydney Avey07/15/11
Lovely imagery and compelling observations. I like the way you resolved the conundrum at the foot of the cross. One thing, I think each vignette would be sharper if some of the imagery weren't mixed. For example the hawk in the forest/desert in the space aboive my head followed by black holes in outer space; somehow I need time to visualize these seperately. On the other hand, it creates a feeling that I'm being assaulted on all fronts, and that supports the theme very well!
Linda Goergen07/15/11
Some very vivid visions of war within peace! Praise God, as you show, the seeds of war are all uprooted in Heaven and new earth, thanks to the cross! A contemplative, insightful and delightful read!
Leola Ogle 07/20/11
Well written and congrats on winning the Bonus Prize. You will love the insightful advice and direction and honest critique that it provides! God bless!