The Official Writing Challenge
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06/17/11
This is a powerful reminder that we just don't know what lies around the corners of our lives. I really like your descriptive wording. Well done.
06/17/11
As soon as you mentioned the tingle in the left arm, I knew what was coming. Gripping.

Since you asked :-) I think you had room in this story to just show it from the beginning. From the moment he got up that morning feeling ill, through his routine and finally the moment.

Loved the ending! It's like Jim was giving Mac a reason to fight even harder for his life. Great job!
06/17/11
Funny how such a routine day can turn out anything but... I hope Mac was able to tell Jim the Gospel lots more times!
I like the way you showed how the regular witness of a life builds a framework for salvation. Your story shows, as well, how a person, facing death, realizes the importance of his soul's condition. Well done.
God never hurries but He is never late. And He always answers our prayers, often in ways we don't expect as your well written story so clearly shows. Well done.
06/17/11
So true that what can seem like tragedy for us can be the very thing God uses to grab hold of someone else's attention. Good job!
06/18/11
Great drama here. I would say that the build up felt a little slow, and a few words could have been trimmed here and there to give more time to character development. Still, awesome story!
06/22/11
interesting twist :-) i think that it was confusing not telling this in chronological order because the jump back in time was rather abrupt and although you probably said that the opening as a return flight it all got jumbled up in this readers mind
06/23/11
Great reminder that God perfects his strength (and arranges his appointments) in our weaknesses. Does this give extra reason to reLAX in his overall control?
Credible and well-constructed entry.
Congratulations for placing 10th in masters and 12th overall!.