The Official Writing Challenge
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Excellent story. The only suggestion I have is that the title seemed a little bland to me. An enjoyable read.
06/17/11
Having a safe, secure place to go is awesome, more than some teens have. Very well-written story:)
Your characterization here is superb, really bringing them both alive. I so admired the patience and tenderness of the grandmother.
06/18/11
I loved this. Being a grandmother who would eat glass if it kept my grandkids safe and secure, I could relate. You did a wonderful job bringing alive these characters. Beautiful job!
06/18/11
You've filled this with emotion. Sadness, serenity (from the Grandmother), and the beginnings of trust. Your story is poignant and draws the reader in. Very good!
06/19/11
Your writing always leaves me with something to mull over. Your characters are excellent, and the story powerful. Well done!
This is so well done! The atmosphere is perfect, the dialog pure and convincing, the message positive and clear. One very tiny nit-picky word tripped me: in the sentence "who Helen had not seen..." should be "whom Helen had not seen." It seems silly that that stood out to me--but it did, probably because of the perfection of the entire story! So, so good!
06/21/11
This story is all too real as there are so many kids in the care of their grandparents these days. Love how the grandmother had the patience to go through the motions until her gr-daughter felt safe. You paced your story nicely and it held my interest to the end.
06/23/11
Pain and the promise of healing is so alive - yet restrained - in this very sensitive piece. Well done.
This is so sad but so wonderfully written. Congratulations on your well deserved placing.
06/23/11
A very realistic story - tragically, too realistic. You told this story very tenderly and drew the reader into the scene very well. Congratulations!