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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Outlook (06/02/11)

TITLE: Scales On The Eyes
By Brian Haugrud
06/09/11


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I am strong and proud, with a voice that is loud.
I was born into royalty.
I am handsome and tall, with dark hair to fall.
My beauty for all to see.

Without blemish I stride being filled with great pride.
Iím perfect in every way.
The standard Iíve set; Iím a real catch, you bet!
I make the rules for play.

My fathersí a king and his people would sing.
Ten thousands he killed at war.
But my pride is greater right now and for later.
Iíll fight him, Itís me they adore!

I crowned myself king and my praises they sing
As I walk by the people I meet.
Iíve embellished a story giving me all the glory.
In the dictionary, my names by conceit.

I am full of myself leaving God on the shelf.
Thatís something my dad can do.
The people love me and are able to see,
With me theyíll never be blue.

I took up a stand trying to conquer the land.
For power is in my blood.
I did not succeed and my army would bleed.
This plan turned out a dud.

My outlook started out great with pride as my bait.
But deceived me in every way.
There were scales on my eyes as I believed the lies.
And fell at the end of the day.

I thought I was free till I hung from that tree,
By my hair in the noon day sun.
I gave my dad shame as he called out my name.
Saying, ďIíll die for him, heís my sonĒ.


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This article has been read 205 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Janice Fitzpatrick06/09/11
Love the rhythm and meter on this. Good job! Sad ending of a well known Bible incident.:(
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 06/09/11
This is a great story and though it may be based on a Bible story; it definitely fits many today. In the beginning my mind went to the kids who grew up in Hollywood because a parent was famous. Nice job in writing it in a way many can relate to.
Linda Goergen06/10/11
I like how this poem shows Absalom's life and his prideful outlook but also messages the warning that an unbridled arrogant, rebellious outlook can be the destruction of anyone. Good job.
Leola Ogle 06/12/11
Nice flowing poem and great perspective about Absalom. Thanks for sharing! God bless!
Patricia Protzman06/14/11
Pleasant, flowing poem about Absalom whom I read about in my morning devotions recently. Very sad ending to a life that held promise. The tree was a Terebinth, sometimes referred to as an oak tree.
Noel Mitaxa 06/14/11
A very skilfully-constructed view of Absolom's failure to reach his potential. Well done