The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 710 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/17/05
This is quite good, over-all, though I really had to focus at times to get a feel for what was happening. I guess that means, for me at least, it could have been smoother in places. But like I said, overall, it is very strong, and I appreciate the indirect, unique angle toward the subject of fruit...so many more obvious angles could have been hit, but you kept it subtle and strong.

Having lost a loved one in a similar manner, it rang with me, as I'm sure it will with anyone that has been there. Perhaps not nearly as strong for those forced simply to imagine what it would be like. I assume all will face it at one point or another.

I liked the ending line, about how the "get well" card seemed to be for you rather than your dad. Very strong and effective. Not sure the relationship between the main character and "Papa J," but I assume that is answered by the word "continued" in the title. Once I find out who you are, I will peruse your archive and perhaps find a previous installment.

Thanks for taking the time to post. It was a good read.
Nothing in life ever prepares us for the moment you've related in this very real story. Your writing has effectively brought out the 'surreal' emotional trauma in such a loss.
10/21/05
Interesting. In a way, death is numbing. You try to push it out of your mind by rewinding before it or trying to fast forward past it. But- it still remains what it is- painful and lonely as each individual is lost in their own grief. Thanks for sharing your article.