Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Outlook (06/02/11)
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TITLE: Love Colored Glasses | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jody Day
06/07/11 -
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To travel to the great world’s end,
Each carrying a different heart;
In this way they were set apart.
They came upon a lovely rose,
The scent no poet could compose.
This took one woman up much higher,
The other said, “But, the briar.”
The wind then blew them to the heights;
Above the sun to twinkle lights.
“I fly!” the one began to call,
The other was afraid she’d fall.
And so it went from day to day:
Each viewing life a different way.
One reached out saying “Come with me,”
The other looking back to see
What dangers might be coming nigh;
She turned away from brilliant sky.
No sooner had the journey started
Than the women’s ways were parted.
The one believed the Father’s cheer,
That there was never need for fear.
And that His love endures forever
For He’d leave her never - ever.
The other clung to the Deceiver,
Who made her heart a true believer
That trouble lurks around the bend
To bring her life down to an end.
Both were given the same gift
One joyful choice, one set adrift;
How great the one life’s choice surpasses
When wearing God’s love-colored glasses.
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Also, consider omitting the capital of each line, it is no longer common practice, and the capital compels the reader to pause at each line, when you don’t necessarily desire a pause.
Now on to the poem‘s content and flow…it is WONDERFUL! The poem’s rhythm flowed and the rhyme did not seem at all forced! The message and vision of your poem was terrific, playing the two outlooks of the women off of each other, comparing the results of their actions! Fit the challenge word to a T, and just had so much wisdom presented in delightful word pictures to show its message! Just terrific job there!!!
Thanks for writing this!
Thanks for writing this!