The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 852 times
Member Comments
Oh my, I can't believe that I have the honor of being the first to comment on this masterful piece!

I absolutely adore the imagery you use. Especially "spritzes" and the "controlled chaos."

I was intrigued to discover how the "dropout" topic came in, and it all made perfect sense in the end. How sad that some young people are forced to drop out of school simply because of a sense of duty and a selfless love in their heart.

Well done!
I liked the mood and tone, how well it blended the piece together. The opening was fantastic.
This is a really excellent piece, showing--not telling--the reason not to dropout, while showing why it might be necessary. Your details made her job come alive. Great job of eliciting sympathy for your mc.