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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Dropout (05/12/11)

TITLE: at the end of a willow shaded lane
By Jim McWhinnie
05/16/11


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‘tis at the end of a willow shaded lane,
within the whispers of a stony brook,
whose waters of melted mountain snow flow chilled and clear,
near a meadow of dandelions and wild daffodils,
one comes upon a rough-hewn cabin,
formed of aged timbers that have grown the color of dark wine
‘neath a rook of mossy shingles, once the color of cypress logs.
it is here that the old man lives,
a bent man who makes his way with the help of a hickory cane
and a memory of a lifetime hiding in these woods.
of course, he was not always old,
he was not always bent,
he was not always near forgotten.
once he was young and had dreams to chase,
once he was of city streets and crowded places,
he was once much more of the human world,
the world created long after God was done,
the worn and weary world,
the hurried world, the harried world,
the world of never- satisfied,
where peace lies buried with those who rest in peace.
but then one night,
while a field was full of moonlight,
a solitary nightingale happened to sing a song,
and the young man left all behind,
and went down a shaded lane,
and went away to a very seldom place,
a world so deep within the world out here,
the world of what might have been,
if we had let it be,
the way it was back then.


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This article has been read 636 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Janice Fitzpatrick05/19/11
Oh I like how this was written. Although I love rhyming poems if they are done well this free verse story like poem captured my attention and my heart. I wanted to have the old man find someone who would come his way and minister to him but this was realistic and I loved your descriptions.".... it is here that the old man lives,
a bent man who makes his way with the help of a hickory cane
and a memory of a lifetime hiding in these woods.
of course, he was not always old,
he was not always bent,
he was not always near forgotten." Need I say more?great job!:)))
Benjamin Graber05/20/11
Wow, Jim - another masterpiece! I really love the taste of this poem! It has such a peaceful feel about it, calling us back to a simple faith.
Charla Diehl 05/20/11
I enjoyed everything about this poetic piece--though some may pity the old man, I applaud him and the quiet, simple and peaceful live he chose. Key word there is CHOSE.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/20/11
What gorgeous pictures you paint with words. I like your poems more and more!
Margaret Kearley 05/25/11
Really lovely. I wanted to know more! Beautifully written.
Bonnie Bowden05/26/11
I love how you create a feeling of emotional ties with the character in your poem. Your poems and stories always have such depth and quality to them.
Ann Grover05/26/11
Beautiful, wonderful imagery. I am "there." Congratulations!
Janice Fitzpatrick05/26/11
Congrats on your win!!! Your piece so deserved it. God bless you.:))
Melanie Kerr 05/26/11
Beautiful. Many of your lines are very evocative. A skillful weaving of a poem.
Bonnie Bowden05/26/11
Congratulations on your win! I am adding this poem to my favorites.

Are you coming out with a book of poems anytime soon?
Lisa Johnson 05/26/11
beautiful... well deserved accolades
Patricia Turner06/01/11
so breathlessly lovely...so deeply evocative...so deserving of the honor of first place. Congratulations!
Andrea Willard08/23/11
...and went away to a very seldom place...Beautiful line. Beautiful poem. Congratulations!