The Official Writing Challenge
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05/14/11
A whimsical, bureaucratic approach to God's grace. So much italicicised reading at the beginning made the going a bit hard, but you nailed it in the end.
05/15/11
What an interesting story! Very creative take on "outgoing"! I was immediately drawn in and was fascinated all the way to the super ending. Who knows how many eternal lives have been saved by the prayers of the faithful? This sure is an encouragement to keep praying for the "lost" and NOT to give up.
I had a conversation w/ one of my 5th graders today :) Should have brought your story with me.

I liked it, but would have done something differently with the italics, too- just because it does distract and even though the MC is in two different places- it's all still happening to him, not a dream then real- so maybe a scene change but not a dream sequence- if that makes sense.
I like your creativity with the topic. If an outgoing department was truly an option, I wonder how many would make a last minute decision.
05/18/11
It would be nice to think there will be an "Outgoing" Dept where loved ones will have an opportunity to make that last final decision. But the air we breathe is not promised to any of us for the next breath. But I pray that my prayers will be used by the Spirit to have an impact for the right decision...whenever it is made.

Very creative take on the topic!