The Official Writing Challenge
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I really enjoyed how you did this story. I could feel the tension build as each new piece of her background was revealed. The ending was great too. We've all wanted to punch a mean girl now and again, I liked that your MC did it, for if she hadn't thrown that punch she may never had been able to loosen the tightening in her fists. Nice job.
05/08/11
You've effectively recaptured the swirl of thoughts and emotions that we all recall from our adolescence. But you have built the tension by keeping them current rather than refective. Very well done.
05/08/11
Poor Bobby. She had every right to let out that anger yet that's not how it will stay away. You did a great job building that anger up in her until it exploded. Very nice entry:)
Great writing, great story. I like the way you created Bobby - the reader is able to see character development in its very elementary stages. Bobby, so true to herself, so introspective. Great job. I especially liked your ending and the tie-in to the theme this week couldn't be better!
05/10/11
You drew me into the emotions of Bobby and I couldn't wait to see what she would do. Great beginning, great middle and great ending! Well done! God bless!
05/10/11
The rising tension was tangible. I really like the way you paralleled the green liquid bubbling to Bobby's emotions.
05/12/11
Hey Amanda! Congrats on your highly commended award on this story that really packs a punch! :) Super!!
05/12/11
Mucho congrats on your "Highly Commended." Loved the title!
Congratulations on your Highly Commended win.
05/13/11
I really like the way you made this so visual by comparing the boiling in the lab to Bobby’s emotions!
You would like to wish there was no reality in how Bobby was treated, but sadly this kind immature hatefulness goes on in Schools daily. But I also love that you present the answer for all of it, in giving it to Jesus! Also, ending it with the last thought being that father will forgive, even when we mess up! Masterfully presented!
Cool! Congrats on getting Highly Commended. You deserved it. You captured your MCs thoughts really well. And I loved how you showed her giving up her anger in the last line. We all need to be willing to give our anger over to Jesus.