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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Blowout (04/28/11)

TITLE: the sparkling dancers
By Jim McWhinnie
05/02/11


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sparkling dancers, the tiny candles were,
momentary bonfires, alit for me,
celebrating
my day, my day of coming into this world of breath
now sixty candles nearer death,
could it truly, truly be?
so much future, now days gone by,
how years do fly,
the hair is greyed,
as are the dreams, worn and frayed.
yet here we sing the childhood song
the song we’ve sung for oh so long,
we always do,
i don’t know why?
there must be one more other tune,
a wish is made,
but soon forgotten,
drifting off in clouds of cotton,
what was so desirous then?
way back when.
all about the smiling faces,
each friend of mine in each their places,
they laugh, they jest, they tease me so,
and urge me to draw one more mighty breath,
and blow out the fire into its smoky death.
how sad it seems to end our day,
by blowing sparkling dancers,
dead away.


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This article has been read 308 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sarah Heywood05/06/11
This is beautiful! My favorite line: now sixty candles nearer death, - what a neat description of the passing of time! I enjoyed this very much!
Laury Hubrich 05/08/11
What a thought-provoking poem. I love the title, too. Very, very good writing:)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/10/11
This brought tears to my eyes. I often don't get poetry. It often goes over my head, but this piece went right to my heart.
Beth LaBuff 05/10/11
The "sixty candles nearer death" line was so hauntingly penned. Your metaphor is beautiful! You've written another master-piece!
Margaret Kearley 05/10/11
I love this - what a wonderful description of birthday candles. Such deep insights beautifully penned. Really great.
Theresa Santy 05/11/11
'Sparkling' is one of my favorite words, and this poem was truely sparkling.