The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/30/11
I'm really confused. I like the style; it reminds me of a fable. But I didn't understand the end at all.
05/03/11
A little too much repeating of phrases. Interesting story. Thank you.
05/03/11
An interesting and lively story that hides its simple strength of repetition in its setting out.
The dialogue is fairy-tale, or Dr Seuss-type stuff, but the rule for clarity is to begin a new paragraph every time the speaker changes. This helps to keep readers abreast of the interaction.