The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/28/11
I like this story a lot. The characters are very real and the dialogue is great. This needed more time, I think, than you had space here. I would love to read more. Nice job!
04/28/11
Your MC handled the situation as a mother beautifully! Every parents reading will acquaint with this mother's anguish and plea to God for help and guidance. Great job, great writing!God bless!
04/30/11
I think we could do an anthology on "train up your child" stories that would be instructive. Your description of the "perp" is wonderful. I would like to see you employ equally vivid language to describe the mother's emotions. Her dump-it-in-the-garbage reaction was spot on, but we are missing the range of emotion a parent feels when they have to face a child's deception. Great story.
05/03/11
Outstanding.

My favorite part:

“Go away.”

Naturally, I went in and sat on the bed.