The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 627 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Nicely written, with good descriptions, a favorite phrase: “from rags to wishes”. I felt a little nervous about the MC’s motives because of his attention to the little girl (my own ‘paranoia’ talking) so was glad at the job offer at the end. Also a glitch for me was that I didn’t “see” the transition from standing in line to the room with the chair.
04/21/11
I'm a sucker for a happy ending, especially where few find one. Good job.
04/26/11
Good dialogue, good story, nicely written. I was confused as to why a reporter would be able to offer her anything such as a voucher or a shorter time in line.
04/27/11
The dialogue flowed nicely in this...holding my attention. Your work here makes me want to try writing like this...as I am new at dialogue and short stories. Thanks for being my teacher.
05/31/11
Lillian, I'm going to feature this story in the Front Page Showcase for the week of June 27. Look for it on the FaithWriters home page--and congratulations!