The Official Writing Challenge
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I love how you've named all the players to make this story new and intriguing. Great job!
An excellent retelling of the event in Bible history! Has the flavor of the Narnia tales!
Lewis and Tolkien would be very proud of you! Great read! Enjoyed it a lot!
Ditto, ditto, and ditto! Befitting title to a great take on on a pivoting point for the Israelites.
Historical Biblical Fantasy! Very cool concept to reach out to a specific audience with the principles and stories of the Word of God. Well done!
I like Karen's new genre: historical biblical fantasy! That's exacly what this read like. Very intriguing and excellent, creative writing, as always.
Blessings, Lynda
Great take on the story!! Loved it!!
I like your twist on the story of the twelve spies. Very well written!
Well done. A good mix of fantasy and the biblical story. I enjoyed this one a lot.

If I can make the one and only suggestion possible......

Take the comma out after 'shoulder'in the sentence, "He felt his Commander’s hand clasp his shoulder, as a cohort of Rephain...." I thought it was defining who they were, not a pause. Soon figured it out, went back and realized what I dodo I'd been.

Beautiful - really magnificent.
You did a WAY better job than I ever could (tried back in the sightseeing challenge) Great job, very descriptive!
J.C. you wrote this in a style that makes an old story fresh and appealing to a generation who may have glossed over the original. Great concept. I would love to see you write a series of old testament stories retold in this style. Teens (and many adults, too) would love it.
Excellent. I am not really into fantasy and was about to skip on to the next article - but then, I thought I recognised the story. Well done!