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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Outbreak (04/07/11)

TITLE: Not so Happliy Ever After
By Noel Mitaxa


Deep in the woods, life for the dwarfs was returning to normal.

Prince Charming had swept Snow White off her feet, and the wedding was so magically happy that even Grumpy managed a smile; well, a few teeth briefly peered out from under his grimace. Bashful was too shy to mention this sudden facial irregularity. Sleepy missed it completely.

When Grumpy told the others how they would miss Snow White’s cooking and cleaning for them, Happy immediately saw the bright side: “Let’s ask the Coast Guard - ha ha! We only want someone to do light house work!”

Grumpy was not amused. “Happy, your ideas are as helpful as a tumble-dry cycle on a dishwasher!” Dopey wondered how that might work, but the question got lost during a very slow journey to his mouth. He forgot the question and slipped back behind his normal expression: showing that though his light was on, there was nobody at home.

There was worse to come, as they discovered when they returned to the mine. There was no more gold! Sneezy tried looking sad, but he was secretly thrilled to be away from all that irritating dust.

Sneezy wanted a change,and he was beginning to wonder about spreading his wings. A name change would not go astray either.

He approached Doc about his thoughts, to find that Doc already knew! “How could you guess all that, Doc?” he asked.

“Well,” replied Doc, “that witch was not so wicked. She knew the mine would run out of gold so she also gave me an apple – not poisonous, but it gave me clairvoyant powers! I can see what’s going to happen, and I can read people’s minds – like I just read yours.”

A mean smile spread over Sneezy’s face as he heard Doc’s plans: “We can break bank security codes and get hold of gold that we will never need to dig for. This is the change you want, Sneaky, because we could not rely on Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy or Happy for anything like this!”

“Sneaky? That sounds better than ‘Sneezy!’ Doc, we’re small enough to fit where police could never go. We can pass ourselves off as kids in a crowd, and with no more dust, my sneezing will never give us away…”

“Yes, Sneaky, I can see ahead and read the minds of all the officials and police, but I’ll need you to pick up tools, to pick locks, or to make sure everything is set for us to move.”

This conversation caused a breakout in crime that dismayed the community, because the offences appeared to be committed by children with no respect for the law. Police were baffled because their plans were undone before they could activate them. They were reluctant to keep interrogating children who looked like they were the culprits, for they needed to ensure that these children would respect both the law and its custodians.

Nothing was safe from Doc and Sneaky’s ruthless efficiency; and their unpredictability. Doc knew how to pick his targets before his targets knew what had happening.

Doc’s clairvoyant insights made it very easy for Sneaky; so easy that he started to get lazy.

One day he stepped away from some schoolchildren, to begin casing a music store. He did not notice the store detective, who suddenly discovered an innocent-looking child with two days of stubble!

He quickly called the police, and he enjoyed seeing Sneaky finally crack under the pressure of their “good cop, bad cop” routine, and his game was up.

They locked Sneaky up and threw away the key.

But to the dismay of law-enforcement agents everywhere, Doc was never caught. Police were continually issuing APBs, and their constant warning to the public was a terse, frustrated message:

“Small medium at large!”

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This article has been read 518 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/14/11
I love fairy tales that get modernized. I giggled quite a bit and could visualize it all.

My only red ink might be the feelings of real dwarfs (little people) might be hurt by some of your jokes.

other than that other than that I thought it was quite delightful. I loved the play on the apple and you have a great sense of humor. Nice take on the topic too.
Linda Goergen04/17/11
I laughed because it was clever and witty... but then I was sad because I hated to see the lovable dwarfs become criminals! LOL I think it may need another paragraph where they repent! LOL
Joe Moreland04/18/11
Very funny and witty, and well constructed too. It read easily and flowed well, which is more important to humor than most people think. Most important is the timing of when and where you pull the trigger with the funny imagery or lines. That takes a natural instinct and is hard to teach - that is something you definitely have a knack for. Nicely done.
Danielle King 04/21/11
I love your sense of humour!