The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 529 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/14/11
You managed to take 744 words:-)and turn them into a suspense-filled, intriguing story with a perfect ending; for the story and the character.You even threw in a
mini-lesson about deafness:-)

Well written and enjoyable.
04/14/11
This was a very interesting perspective. I've never thought about how the hearing impaired face crises in life such as this one. I wonder, was the text from his wife a divinely appointed one?!
04/15/11
Very vivid, and the detail of the hearing-impaired protagonist not being able to understand the assailant is a great extra unexpected twist inside the main unexpected twist :)
A well deserved sip of the bubbly for your MC. He earned it by staying around to share his interesting story. I'm a retired banker so this was an enjoyable to read for me.
Wow you sure can write a suspenseful story. I enjoyed every word and could easily see it play out as a scene from a TV show. It may be a tad weak on topic more of a Break Out than Outbreak maybe butI think it was wonderful and well-written. And it could represent an outbreak of crime. So you may have covered the topic more than you think.
Each detail added to the suspense of your story. I really enjoyed the read.
Your story, on topic and detailed, was full of suspense and a pleasure to read. A mini drama in less that 750 words. Great job.
04/16/11
Excellent writing! Intense and detailed.. makes you hang on every word. Not sure how it fits the topic but I really enjoyed your story.
04/17/11
Personally felt it did meet the topic with the outbreak of fear. Amazingly suspenseful in so few words. Well done!
Creative approach to the topic, and an excellent read -both suspenseful and engaging.
04/20/11
Great Story, L! I was emotionally drawn into this tale quite easily. I was excited at the idea of the final downpayment going in; I was shocked at the vibration in the air and the blood drop splatters; and I was terrified when the gunman spoke to the narrator, not knowing him to be deaf.

Awesome tale!