The Official Writing Challenge
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A nice new way to think of the grasser always being greener on the other side. You had me filled with suspense and I too wanted to know what was on the other side.
04/16/11
This really showed perseverance and determination by the man. I'm not quite sure about the ending, though. Did the door shut both the friends out? I think you ended it that way on purpose so we weren't sure. And you're right - no way would that outbreak start since it was so much work to it! :)
04/18/11
Maybe more of a "breakout" rather than "outbreak"? But I feel stupid because I did not get the ending...I think I'm missing something. Loved the suspense waiting to see what was on the other side of the door
04/18/11
Oh, wow. Existential indeed! I like your concept and the twist at the end, that the protagonist fights his way past this impossible door to discover himself back where he started, in the same fields, on the same "side" of the door.

I had some trouble visualizing what is happening at various points; I think you are trying to be deliberately spare of detail, but maybe have erred on the side of not quite enough detail. At the beginning, I didn't know how to picture the scene -- at first when you speak of a tiny garden plot beside a door, I thought perhaps the whole tiny garden was walled in by itself, but when the friend appears it seems not, and it's only at the end you make clear that there are wider fields. In the first paragraph, I'm not sure which man is pushing (or pulling? not sure about that either) on the door, or whether they're trying to keep it open or to close it. And so on. To some degree, I think the story works if a lot of the setting is suggestive rather than concrete, but there still needs to be enough concreteness for the reader to orient themselves and follow what's going on -- I kept having to pause and readjust my mental image in order to understand what was happening.

I really like your twist on the topic (an "outbreak" that doesn't go anywhere), and could spend a long time pondering all of the questions this story suggests ... bravo for taking such an out-of-the-box approach, and thanks for writing a story that's making me think :)
04/21/11
You are a great writer! I like the undertones in that there is more to the story. The one place I got confused was in the line of conversation "creative thought is discouraged"..right in there I'm not sure who is saying what. I look forward to reading more from you. Thank you for sharing!