“Commander Depression: Your mission is to keep pesssstering the United Nationssss President. We must keep him annoyed, angry and depresssssed: these are the keyssss to keeping him under our complete control,” snorted the Supreme Serpent. A yellow haze constantly surrounded the Serpent, ironically matching his chicken-hearted attitude.
“Yes, your Slimy Highness: consider it done. Once we have all of the United Nations under our complete control, we will launch Operation One World Religion—”
“Yessss… yessss: I have foresssseen thissss plan for two thoussssand yearssss: I will rule thissss world THROUGH their RELIGION!”
“And they will all worship you.”
“Yessss! I cannot-- wait! Do you hear that? Who issss knocking on my Ssssupreme Ssssnake pit Chamber door?”
“I will check. Guard! Let him in.”
“Commander Depression, who issss here? I did not expect any meetingssss today?!?”
“It is Captain Discouragement. He looks extremely discouraged today.”
“More discouraged than he usually doessss?”
“Yes, your Slimy Highness. And he keeps looking down.”
“Bring him to me.”
“Discouragement, the Supreme Serpent will see you now.”
“Thank you, Commander.”
“It is my pleasure.”
“Supreme Serpent, your Highness: we come with urgent news from the Americas, sir.” Discouragement kept looking down at the Supreme Snake Pit floor as he spoke.
“LOOK AT ME when you speak!”
“It’s happening again, just like in the beginning. As you commanded, sir, we have launching fresh Discouragement and Depression attacks through the various media, including news outlets and entertainment venues, but something awful is happening, sir.”
“Captain Disssscouragement, you are babbling. What do you mean, jusssst like in the beginning? WHAT issss happening that issss sssso awful?”
Captain Discouragement almost looked down again as he took a deep breath and swallowed.
“Come on now, Sssspit it out, like a good Sssserpent’ssss ssssoldier!”
“Remember the beginning? The Day of Pentecost? And, the beginning of the 20th Century?”
“Yessss, I remember it all too well. There wassss an outbreak of the ‘holy sssspirit’. Thoussssandssss of my precioussss followerssss were losssst to the sssso-called Holy One. Oh, how I desssspise Him!”
“Well, sir, it’s happening again. It started in Mexico and spread south into the rest of Central America, then South America. Now it’s spread into the United States and Canada: it’s like a fire we cannot stop!”
“Oh, thissss issss awful newssss, indeed.” This time the Supreme Serpent looked down for a moment, pondering what to do. Then, he lifted up his snaky head and said, “Commander Depression, what did we do to sssstop thissss outbreak way back in the beginning?”
“After the Day of Pentecost, sir?”
“Yessss. Remind me and our good captain here of what we did to counteract the so-called ‘holy’ outbreak.”
“We launched a counter-attack of false doctrine. It took some time, but we ultimately prevailed by introducing pagan ideas into the church. Councils were held and got the church away from using the Bible as the sole source of ideas. Eventually, the church even adopted idols and worshipped them; millions of which still do to this day. And, I am sure you will remember our Operation Black Plague Depression campaign?”
“Yessss, we must keep the church annoyed, angry and depresssssed: it’ssss the key to controlling them; jusssst like the United Nationssss. Ultimately, we want to unite all the annoyed, angry and depresssssed as one—they will all worship ME!”
“Yes, your Slimy Highness: that is the plan.”
“Thissss issss what we will do now: launch Operation One World Religion—”
“But, sir, with all due respect, we are not ready—”
“You are DISSSSREPECTING ME by disagreeing! Launch the campaign now! We have to stop this outbreak ssssomehow. Desssstroy ALL who sssstand in our way! I cannot wait any longer to rule thissss world!”
“Your Highness, there is more awful news.”
“How much more awful can it get?”
“The newly ‘born again’ converts are joining forces with God’s Prayer Warriors. Prayer meetings are breaking out all over the Americas. Many of our dark princes over controlled cities have fallen! The Light of the Truth is shining brightly—especially in Mexico.”
“That’ssss IT! I HATE THISSSS TRUTH! HATE IT! Commander Depression: You will alsssso launch Operation One World Economic Government as well! NOW!”
The yellow haze rose up and covered the Supreme Serpent’s face. Then, Depression and Discouragement watched as his shiny beady black eyes turn blood red. It struck fresh fear into them as they departed to carry out the Operations, which to them, seemed like a mixture of iron and clay.
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