The Official Writing Challenge
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You did a great job here of "showing" the agony of the abused wife. I so wanted the minister to see through her husband's hypocrisy.
This was well done and very real. Great use of dialogue really helped with show vs tell.
You painted a vivid and disturbing picture. The conflict was palpable and in a word, intense. I was in deepest empathy with the wife - so wishing the "buffering" of time was not needed at all.
03/16/11
Really good, Rachel. Seems like it must have been a bit painful to write b/c it felt very real.

Excellent choice of words to convey mood and atmosphere.

Great job!
03/16/11
Painful. (I hope this isn't based on experience, as it resonates with strong emotions. I can attest to its reality.)
oh this is such a good story. It is full of all kinds of conflict and I just want to scream at the Pastor and ask him to wake up and save the wife. Nicely done. One of my favorites so far
03/17/11
How much we would do to hide the truth in front of our pastor, yet our Lord know what is in our hearts and we can hide nothing from Him (Psalm 44:21). Well written with much truth revealed.
Congratulations on placing 28th overall!