The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/10/05
I felt her emotion in that. This is definatly a strong piece.
10/10/05
Excellent! Loved the last line.
Wow wow wow! This one is awesome! Beautiful! Thanks for sharing!
I could identify with her loneliness, pain, and inability to find acceptance. Well done! The last line is a shocker - makes me want to think some more. :-)
10/12/05
I particularly liked the opening line and the references to the neglected kitchen. Very well written.
I loved the use of discriptions of the home to set the tone of her family. I felt all of her emotions along with her, but the last line confused me a bit. I also liked the neighbor looking but not helping. Sadly, that is too often the case in the real world.
10/13/05
I too thought that you described her home life beautifully.
10/13/05
Wow! This is awesome! I especially liked the tiny detail of the curious neighbor. I half expected the neighbor to come out and help, and I'm glad she did not; it would have interfered with the mood of this piece. But only a very gifted writer would even think of including that minute detail. Bravo!
10/13/05
Captivating and well-crafted! But who's Mrs. Atkinson? I thought at first that she was the teacher, and I was curious to see why the girl was bringing the flowers back to her. It was a bit of a jolt to read that the teacher doesn't like the girl, so I had to adjust where I thought we were going. Regardless, this is a GREAT story - realistic and well-described setting, fabulous character development, thought-provoking conclusion. Well done!
10/13/05
I keenly felt the little girl's pain. Amazingly she found the sweet amongst her bitter surroundings! I liked this article.
What a heart rending story that is repeated far more often than most of us would like to think. The last line is perfect--as is the rest!
10/14/05
Bravo! I also loved the last line. It brought the piece to a thought-provoking close. Loved it!
Blessings, Lynda
10/14/05
Yes, a very gifted writing! You crafted an effective story. Thanks.
10/14/05
This certainly did not allow my attention to stray! Excellent and meaningful writing. How many of us feel we can never measure up, yet God draws out the best in us. Though sometimes crushed, He makes us whole. This is beautiful.
This has left me wondering about a little girl who takes flowers to a teacher she knows doesn't like her. Why? Is her need for acceptance so strong? Interesting piece. Well-written and poignant. I won't be able to forget it in a hurry.
Very poignant peice. Very well done, though I thought the ending didn't quite go. :-) I, too, thought the discription of the kitchen really added to the atmospher.
10/17/05
"Frogiveness is the fragrance the violet (or in this case, lilac) sheds on the heel that has crushed it."- Mark Twain.
I liked your story, I really felt for the precious little girl, could feel the emotion. Good job!
10/17/05
woops, i wrote frogiveness...i meant forgiveness...but you knew that! ha ha
cheers
10/17/05
Ann, congratulations on your Highly Commended Award for Level 3. The competition on this level is fierce, and your award was well deserved.

This was such a disturbing and unsettling piece to read - which is why it was so very good. Well done.

Also, I want you to know that you ranked 10th overall, so you were really just a breath away from being in the Editors' Choice. That's 10th out of 145 entries, so really, you deserve to be congratulated again.

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)